Cruising World - February 2016

FEBRUARY

2016

cruisingworld.com

28

F

irst, the good news: I’m constantly

amazed by how little corruption

there is in the far corners of the

world. While I’m a relatively poor man by

American standards, my vessel represents

great wealth to the people of Madagascar,

Borneo and the Maldives. For the most

part, however, these people do not take

advantage.

Of course, there are exceptions. Once

I was being dragged down a corridor in

Venezuela by three beefy federales while

my wife, Carolyn, ran after us, screaming,

“Pay the bribe, Fatty! It’s only 27 cents

U.S.!”

Another time, in Castries, St. Lucia,

the customs guy wanted me to buy a fl ag

his wife had made. I politely declined, say-

ing that I too had a wife who sewed, and

pointed at the fl uttering courtesy fl ag on

my starboard spreader.

“Oh, dear,” he replied with a frown.

“I’ve had reports of a smuggling boat that

looks similar to yours. Bring her to the

dock so my boys can take a look.” Before

the eight dock ruffians he’d assigned to

rip apart my boat could do much damage,

I shouted lamely, “OK, I’ll buy the fl ag!”

Instantly, all destruction ceased. “I

thought you’d be reason-

able,” said the customs guy

with a smile.

In the Galapágos, it was

a different story. There the

customs agent’s son-in-law

was the Official De- Ratter

of the Eastern Pacifi c Fleet.

“Here’s how it works,” ex-

plained the happy-go-lucky

officer. “You pay me $25 for

my son-in-law to go out to

your boat with a large can-

ister of highly toxic poison

strapped on his back, then

you pay him an additional

$25 to not use that poison to

make your home uninhabit-

able. Does that sound reasonable?”

Our most endearing clearing-in expe-

rience took place in the lovely Maldives,

when seven men in uniform trooped

aboard. Each took out his cellphone,

dialed either his mother’s, wife’s or girl-

You never know what you’ll encounter when clearing in at a remote landfall,

but it’s always interesting

BY CAP’N FATTY GOODLANDER

Each landfall has its unique cast of

characters — from the iguanas in the

Galápagos to the camels in Egypt —

and that includes the customs and

immigration agents who are the gate-

keepers at every new stop.

Grand ENTRANCE

On Watch

CAROLYN GOODLANDER