ShowBoats International — April 2017

APRIL 2017 WWW.BOATINTERNATIONAL.COM

ILLUSTRATION: DAVID HOPKINS

f you want your lady to spend more time

on that extraordinarily expensive toy of

yours, here are some tips to ensure she

loves yachting as much as you do.

• Don’t poke the bear. Prepare yourself for abnormally
  large sun hats, huge sunglasses and
  white, chemical-free sunscreen like on
  a 1980s beach volleyball player. Also
  expect moments of horrifically un-
  sexy long-sleeved SPF shirts. Wrinkles
  are not chic, so hold your tongue and
  don’t make fun of our extreme methods
  of sun protection.


• Don’t urinate off the transom. You
  think we can’t see you but we can.


• Don’t fight us on that insanely
  expensive Chanel tote to carry our towel
  and sunscreen to the beach. We don’t
  begrudge you that fourth engine on your tender. And
  while we’re on the subject of tenders, please choose a
  mutually acceptable one. All we really care about is
  how dry it is. An errant wave over the bow on the way
  to a fancy dinner can ruin the evening.

Author, attorney and yacht owner Kristin Ducote dishes advice

for equal opportunity fun on board. Listen up, fellas

Darling on Deck

• And yes, do plan a fancy onshore dinner or two.
  Although one of the great things about yacht life is
  the ability to let your hair down and relax, we still
  like to wash the salt off now and then. No matter
  how superb the chef on board, give us a few nights
  of excitement. Give us a reason to swipe on bright
  lipstick and slip into a great pair of heels.


• Do splurge for the best crew you can find. No matter
  what size boat you’re working with, in the end it’s the
  crew that makes the trip. Look for yachties with extra
  things to offer, like a yoga background. Yoga classes
  on the aft deck at sunset aren’t just for her; they will
  make you appreciate the moment too.


• And lastly, don’t ever run out of good champagne.
  Nothing will incite a female mutiny quicker than an
  empty champagne bucket.
  Talk about a lot of rules! Consider these guidelines
  for a good time. When she’s actively engaged in the
  boat and excited for the next trip, she’s less likely to
  take exception to the mountain of bills collecting in
  the kitchen. You’re in this together. Remember: you
  don’t find the happy life, you make it.
  Until next time... B

Don’t ever run

out of good

champagne.

Nothing will

incite a female

mutiny quicker

than an empty

champagne

bucket

I

OWNERS’ CLUB

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Kristen Column