Poetry Translating as Expert Action
1 When we smoothed our hands over our heart
2 do you recall how it made sense, how our halves
3 right then were real once more, words by candlelight
4 how we lay translated and spelt in old esh
5 breath raised us, straw re kindled us
6 like smoke bliss surrounded us, outside
7 the small nip of autumn, we were contented
8 lying there in what we had, the moment
9 holding us close, then time fell in
10 one still hears the ticking behind the white board, empty
11 slowly falling dark mildewed droplets –
tr. ‘Fleur’1 Remember when we threw caution to the winds
2 everything fell into place, suddenly two halves
3 were true again, words by candlelight
4 we lay translated into old esh, spelled
5 our breathing raised us up, brush re ignited us
6 happiness hung over us like smoke, outside
7 autumn hinted at winter, we were satis ed
8 lying in our possession, the moment
9 that embraced us, was that when time set in
10 one still hears the ticking behind the whitewash
11 musty black drops, empty, slowly falling –
tr. ‘Geo ’1 When we decided to have a heart
2 do you remember how right it was, how our halves
3 were suddenly true, words by candlelight
4 how we lay translated and spelt in old esh
5 breath cancelled us out, straw re set us alight
6 happiness hung as smoke about us, outside
7 the slight autumn chill, we were satis ed
8 lying like this in what we owned, the moment
9 that embraced us, then dropped into time
10 one still hears the tapping behind the whitewash, empty
11 slowly falling blackened mouldy droplets –
tr. ‘Hugo’1 Do you remember how right it felt when we passed
2 our hands over our heart, how suddenly
3 our halves were true again, words by candlelight
4 how translated and spelled out in old esh we lay
5 breath swept up, spontaneous re ignited us
6 happiness enveloped us like smoke, outside
7 the slight chill of autumn, we were content
8 lying there like that in what was ours, the moment
9 that embraced us, that was when time set in
10 one hears still the ticking beneath the whitewash,
11 empty slow-falling black mildewy drops –
tr. ‘Irene’1 When hands on heart we felt it unharden
2 can you recall in a heartbeat how our halves
3 rang whole once more, words by candlelight
4 how we lay translated, spelt out in old esh
5 breath suspended us, wild re red us
6 happiness hung like smoke about us, outside
7 the small chill of fall, and so lying
8 content in what we owned, the moment
9 which embraced us: then time caved in
10 one still hears the tapping behind the plaster
11 hollow, black mildewed drops slowly falling –
tr. FrancisFigure 24. Toen wij: English versions after Draft 3interaction with text helpers. Thinking aloud slows translation down (Jakobsen, in
Jääskeläinen 2002). Though it is less clear whether it qualitatively changes transla-
tion processes, Jääskeläinen herself reports that she was more lexically literal when
thinking aloud than when translating silently (2000).
To improve the validity of think-aloud-based translation research, Bernardini
(2001: 251 ff ) recommends observing real-life rather than simulated translation
events, combining qualitative methods with quantitative and coding-based meth-
ods, comparing several translators doing the same task plus the same translator
doing different tasks, and grounding findings in a coherent model of translation.
All her recommendations are followed in Chapters 5 and 6.