Chapter 5. Five translators translate
Figure 31. Toen wij: Version 2 (Hugo, Lines 8–9)
In D raft 2, three translators (Fleur, Geoff and Hugo) first typed their end-of-Draft-1
version into the word processor with only minor revisions, whereas two (Irene and
I) continued to hand-write. All then revised their working version in detail, with
frequent reference to the source poem, and often giving alternative renderings
(e.g. suspended/elevated/raised us up: Figure 32). Translators mainly revisited tricky
problems of equivalence – particularly the complex idiom-play in Stanza I, where
none of the items have English equivalents with the same crucial literal + figurative
combination (stroked-hands-heart + leniency; beat + be correct; one-beat + sud-
denly). All translators also revised for non-semantic aspects such as rhythm.Figure 32. Toen wij: Draft 2 alternative-solutions working version (Geoff )