a female. When I ask him though if I would have had more success as a
man he negates:
Nah, if you’d been a white guy, it would have been much worse.I am hesitant to unconditionally concur with Edward that had I been a
white male it would have been even worse. I do agree that it would have
made a difference. My gender, my skin colour, my social status, my age
all contribute in determining who I am, how my field perceives me and
how the interaction between myself and the field takes form. As this inter-
action subsequently took place at not only a removed and rational level,
but also at an intimate and emotional level, it proved pivotal to my
research to roster in a ‘heightened reflexivity and a greater visibility of the
self’ (Anderson, 2006b,p. 453) in the analysis of and reporting on ethno-
graphic research.
IN CONCLUSION
In the multi-ethnic and male-dominated space ofVerdiplein, I was from the
start assessed and denominated as The Other. The othering performed
upon me was personal, intimate and at times intimidating. It was also con-
frontational and illuminating. Through the othering,Verdipleinengaged
upon me and pulled me into the research field as a veritable stakeholder;
not a mere observer, but an actual participant. In this paper I have focused
on the regard on my quality as a female. I have tried to demonstrate that
my gender in part determined my position in my research field and subse-
quently research. I reiterate that it would not necessarily have been better
or worse if I had been a man; I merely posit it would have been different.
Moreover, my personal experience enriched my professional analysis.
One of the objections Delamont formulates against auto-ethnography is
that ‘it focuses on the wrong side of the power divide’(2007, p. 2).My
experience is at odds with this observation. The auto-ethnographical
dimension in my fieldwork sensitized me to the power divide, to my uncon-
scious positioning in it and to the different ways possible of appraising the
divide. By incorporating my own experience into the research analysis, I
passed beyond the outward appearances. Otherwise put, I not merely
observed but physically underwent the ambiguity of the space and the
power plays enacted therein. This embodied experience helped me better
understand and analyse my field.
14 DANIELLE CHEVALIER