Once outside the action, it appeared obvious to me that I would never
have spoken like that to the police officers. First, they would not have
considered my request to stop this immobilization. Then, showing a perso-
nal opinion at that moment would have amounted to a full denial of their
professional practice. Finally, what consequences would this disavowal
have on my field scene, my group integration, and my access to informa-
tion? The relative comfort I found in the observer position adopted until
then was not enough. While the carefully adopted attitudes were meant to
facilitate my integration in the field, and help me resist the attempts of the
actors of the field to include me in their practices, they eventually gave way
due to my own tendency to involve myself in their activities.
After this self-justifying rush, I wondered: why did I not think of gently
asking this young woman to collect her things? It then occurred to me that
at no point had I thought of the solution of withdrawing from the inter-
action: of quite simply leaving the room. And yet it would not have been
risky for any of my scenes. I wished I had done otherwise and had fully con-
trolled my emotions. Had my action taken a different form, my professional
disappointment and my personal regret would have been less deep.
After this first realization, some questions remain: how could I recover
some coherence in my interaction with the police officers? Was it a realistic
and tenable position? Not all those questions make sense for the actors of
the field, and they may never even notice that I have a problem. The police
officers don’t know anything about my methodological preoccupations
nor about my emotions. They couldn’t know I lost my temper or was
disappointed in myself. They don’t say anything to me after my choice of
action as described above.
But to my point of view the field scene is affected. I have my own reasons
for making this decision. At that moment, I need to find some solutions in
order to optimize the quality of my presence in the field.
The Professional Scene, a Resource for the Researcher in the Field?A few days later, at the office, I report the incident and my disappointment
to my colleagues. The remarks I get in return aim to draw my attention to
the process of culture integration by which I was affected: I partook
actively in the police intervention and, in so doing, acted as if I had
adopted their role.
Furthermore, professional interactions highlight other methodological
issues: what is the scientific interest of this data? A social researcher met at
54 CAROLINE DE MAN