Getting Comfy with Silence
How a few simple changes helped my meditation habit stick
BY VANESSA GOODMAN
My nose is itchy. Don’t scratch it. Can’t scratch it. Want to scratch it.
Stop thinking about my nose itch.
Shoot, now I’m thinking about thinking about my nose itch. And what is
that sound?!? My Shih Tzu is snoring. SNORING. DON’T YOU KNOW I’M AT-
TEMPTING TO MEDITATE?
Bring it back to my breath. (Inhaaale. Exhaaale. Inhaaale. Exhaaale.)
I gotta be close to my 12 minutes. Slowly squint right eye open just enough
to see 2:17 tick down to 2:16 on my iPhone timer. I can do this. Inhaaale.
Exhaaale.
Ugh. I think my foot is asleep.
STRUGGLING MEDITATORS UNITE
We all know it; meditation is as good for your mind and soul as squats are
for your legs. As chicken breast is for ab definition, and coconut oil is for,
well good for life. But knowing it’s good for you and actually practicing are
two very different things.
There are some very accomplished doers out there. Their meditation prac-
tice is daily, 30 minutes or even longer. Their mental strength and calm
demeanor is admirable. And they make meditation look child’s pose kinda
easy.
So why do I struggle to conquer my nose itching, dog snoring, and clock
watching?
It’s not because meditating is hard. It’s adopting the habit that can be hard.
And part of that, I think, is the desire to make it perfect off the start line. I
know I (and maybe some of you) have determined that mediation looks,
sounds, and feels like a white-robed monk in complete silence and stillness,
at the same time of day. Every day. Facing the sun. For like two hours.What if I get itchy? What if I can’t last until my timer? What if my feet fall
asleep sitting cross legged? What if I can’t commit to the same time every
day? What if morning doesn’t work for me like so many accomplished med-
itators suggest?The very reason why I needed to get into a meditation habit—my what if-ing
everything to death—was the exact thing that was holding me back.CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL
All those doers I mentioned? Here’s where they come in. I decided to seek
professional help to set me on course with a few tools and the reassurance
that perfect isn’t the goal. Adopting the habit in a way that works for me...
yeah, that’s the goal. So I hit up a class at Canada’s first mainstream medi-
tation studio here in Edmonton, Lifestyle Meditation. Quite similar to seeing
a personal trainer to tone up or a nutrition coach to tweak eating I viewed
a guided meditation session as a means to putting some course markers on
my path to a mediation habit. A guided session with Tracy Montgomery not
only reunited me with my intuition, it introduced some new motivation to
get comfy with silence.And that I did. Coupled with some blog posts/vids/Insta stories on medita-
tion, and a commitment to find my unique mode of silence over a period of
several weeks I shook off the notion of perfect.WHAT IF IT WORKS?
The most important ‘what if’ was the one I had actually omitted. What if it
works?And it does. But I realized I was initially trying to do the fitness version of
couch surfer to full Ironman in one training session. Not likely. Habits take a
bit longer to build than that.