Reader’s Digest International — August 2017

(singke) #1

PHOTOS: iSTOCK


THINK FAST
After a long family road trip from the
US into Canada, a border patrol agent
asked my father the names of us five
kids in the back. Dad was so tired that
he drew a blank. The brief lapse
resulted in Dad being hauled in for
questioning. After convincing them that
he hadn’t kidnapped us, he was
released – 15 hours later. Source: cafemom.com

FALSE POSITIVE
“Ahhhhhhhhhh!” That was my sister’s
way of letting the world know she’d
just seen a mouse inside her cabin
e mountains.
nd a while
it snap
ied the
y sister
e little beast,
er head.
d. “That’s

The Great Tweet-off:
First Date Edition

I thought he was into fitness
because he had on an ankle weight.
He was actually on parole and it
was an ankle monitor.
@LINDACHILDERS1
He still lived with his parents, so he
had to sneak me in and that’s when
I found out about the Ninja Turtle
sheets ... @TINYELVISBKWD

Reluctantly went on a blind
date through a mutual friend.
Halfway through the date, we
discovered that we are related.
@CHRISKONYA98

I went to a fancy place. He ordered,
and ate, the most expensive food
on the menu He went to wash
his ha

My m
at the
Then
“Whe
she sm

Met a
her ov
Heard
me w
was o

When US late-night host Jimmy
Fallon asked viewers for their
#WorstFirstDate tweets, he knew
he’d struck comedy gold.

e menu.He went to wash
ndsandneverreturned.
@MC_ARTHUR12 3
um dropped me off
emovie in her copcar.
sheliedandsaid,
nshe gets nervous
mellslikemeatloaf.”
@DAFLOYDSTA
girl online and had
ver for dinner.
drippingbehind
hile cooking. She
openingmymail.
@WALLYSVOICE

on a recent holidayto the
Her husband set a trap,a
later theyheard
shut. Ashe carr
trap outside, my
scrutinised the
then shookhe
“No,” she said
nothim.”

GREAT OUTDOORS
Uncle Bart was a city boy whose
familiarity with wildlife began and
ended with pigeons. One time he
joined us at our cabin in the woods.
In the evening, he opened the door to
let our cats in. The first cat walked in;
then the second. Bart stood there
coaxing the third cat to come, which
we found strange – we only had two
cats. The third cat was a possum.
SUBMITTED BY JONATHAN HAKULIN

SUBMITTED BY
PATRICIA CHESTER
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