August• 2017 | 67LENGTHY ENGAGEMENT
A prince was once put under a spell
that meant he could only speak one
word each year.
If he didn’t speak for two years,
the following year he could speak
two words, and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a
beautiful lady. He refrained from
speaking for two years so that he could
call her “my darling”.
After that, he wanted to tell her
he loved her, so he waited three
more years.
At the end of these five years, he
wanted to ask her to marry him,
so he waited another four.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence
ended, he led the lady to the most
romantic place he knew in the
kingdom and said, “My darling,
I love you! Will you marry me?”
And the lady said, “Pardon?”
SUBMITTED BY LEE HALL
AY, CARAMBA!
¡I just found out you don’t have
to be Spanish to use upside-
down punctuation!¿ Did you
guys know about this?
@ANORANGESNES ON TWITTER
POOP DECK
Two pirates meet in a bar. Sol has a
patch over one eye, a hook for a hand
and a wooden peg leg.
“Ye gads, matey,” says Marty. “What
happened to ye?”
Sol replies, “Well, me pirate ship
was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped
off me leg. So now I’ve got me a
wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark
bit me hand off. So now I’ve got me
a hook.”
“OK, I see. But Sol, what’s with
the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a
dock, and a huge seagull
pooped right in me eye.”
“But ye don’t go blind
from poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But
it was me first day with
the hook.”
COMEDIAN JASON ALEXANDERBATTLE OF THE SEXES
Did you know that the male sea horse has the baby?
And I was thinking, Why don’t they just call that
the female sea horse? COMEDIAN JIM GAFFIGAN
SPECIAL DELIVERY
I’ve just ordered a
chicken and an egg
from Amazon.
I’ll let you know.
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