8 DAYS | 23STORY CHERYL ONG8 DAYS: You shared on a recent
IG post that for the first time in
four years, you celebrated your
wedding anniversary with
Andie.
KATE PANG: We always forgot
about it (laughs). We either recall it
only on the day itself or two, three
days later. Then we’d just laugh it
off. (Laughs)
So what’s special about this
year?
For the past few years, we’ve
been busy with the kids and work.
And sometimes, Andie felt like I
neglected him. And a while back,
I also told him that we didn’t
have the feeling of being in love
[anymore]. (Laughs) ’Cos of that,
he meticulously planned something
[on our anniversary] — he booked
a hotel room for one night, and we
went shopping the next day. If not,
he wouldn’t give me any presents
even if it’s my birthday. (Laughs)
You wrote that having kids
took a toll on your marriage.
We got into big fights over the
kids. For a period of time, I was
too focused on taking care of them
and neglected him. When the kids
went to bed, I also went to bed or
did my own stuff, without thinking
about him. I also hardly spoke to
him. That went on for quite a while.
So he was unhappy for a very long
time and I didn’t even realise it.
Or maybe I felt a bit like he was
behaving strangely but I [didn’t
ask him about it]. We were having
problems communicating even
after Aden turned one. [Ed: Aden is
now three] It was only in the recent
one or two years that we started
to communicate more. Things are
better between us now. Before this
year, it wasn’t [good].
Are you one of those parents
who loves your kids more than
your hubby?
(Laughs nervously) Someone
[referring to Andie] is looking at me.
(Laughs) What a scary look in his
eyes! No, I love both my hubby and
kids equally. (Clears throat) I don’t
think I... Okay, I admit that I used
to neglect my hubby lah. (Laughs)
But you can’t say that it’s ’cos I
don’t love him. You can’t compare
[kids and husband]. Andie is an
adult who obviously can take care
of himself. So, of course, my priority
is taking care of the kids. But as
for the extent of my love [for my
husband and kids], actually, there’s
not much difference. Without my
hubby, I also wouldn’t have my kids.
How can you ensure that your
marriage doesn’t take a turn
for the worse again?
This year, we laid down a rule that
we must set aside one day a week
to go on a date — watch a movie,
sing karaoke, anything. We just felt
like we needed couple time. With
the kids around, it’s very hard for us
to do things that give us the feeling
of being in love. So we had to force
ourselves to be away from the kids
temporarily.
Who takes care of the kids
then?
We have two helpers at home now.
And during the day, Aden will be in
school. So sometimes, we’d go for
our date until 4pm, then go pick
him up.
You both decided not to renew
your contracts with Mediacorp
this year to focus on your
YouTube channel Kandie
Family. Was it a joint decision?
Actually, work-wise, we’re quite
independent. So [our decisions
not to renew our contracts] are notdirectly related. It’s just that
I felt that it was very hard to juggle
both Kandie Family and Mediacorp
projects.
What’s it like working with
your husband?
We get into arguments very easily
’cos there are many things we
need to discuss. And sometimes
he behaves like a boss, so I’d be
very unhappy. I’m quite stubborn.
If I believe in something, I won’t
give in, which upsets him (laughs).
Both of us insist on having our way.
I’m the scriptwriter, and Andie will
also give his input. But both of us
will think our way is better. Then I’ll
[lose my cool] and say, “Okay, then
shoot it your way.” (Laughs) But
Andie always gives in to me ’cos he
knows he cannot win an argument.
You mentioned in your IG
post that you both have bad
tempers. Whose is worse?
I think Andie’s more cultivated than
I am, so no matter how angry he
is, he’ll keep his cool and reason
things out. Sometimes, when I’m
unhappy, I’ll say, “Whatever lah! I
don’t want to talk about it!” And I’d
just ignore him. (Laughs)
Now that you both have more
flexible schedules, are you
planning for a third kid?
No, ’cos it wasn’t easy for us to
find a balance between our life and
two kids. So there’s not going to be
any “third party” for the moment.
But I’ve always loved kids a lot so I
won’t rule it out.Better together:
Kate and Andie
at a friend’s
wedding dinner
this year.Meet the
Kandie clan:
The couple with
their kids, son Aden,
3, and 15-month-old
daughter Avery.