It’s very frustrating ’cos I don’t want to offend
these people. But at the same time, I feel
very disgusted to have to deal with men who
have absolutely no respect for women. And
sometimes, it’s not even the physical violation,
but how a man looks at me and strips me
naked with his eyes. That to me is sexual
harassment. It’s happened to me so many
times. You know, the way they look at me, I
really wanted to dig out their eyes and send
them to prison immediately. Even though they
did not rape me, but I felt that they have already
raped me with their eyes.
You must be more exposed to this seedy
side of society since you travel so often.
When I was in India for a travelogue, I was
molested three times in half-an-hour in a
market. One man walked into me and hit my
boob, then another grabbed my butt, and the
third groped my va-jay-jay. I was wearing jeans
lah. But I wanted to cry. I felt so violated.
A few months ago, I was in Vietnam for a
motivational speaking engagement. Over
there, child prostitution [is rampant]. My friend
who works with human traffickers took me to
some famous tourist spots to show me who
some of these paedophiles are. They would
roam the streets aiming for little kids. That
was sick. I plan to go back to Cambodia to
work with female trafficking victims. I need to
conduct many, many sessions of workshops
to try and get these women to break away
from their victimised mindsets. They live with
hopelessness. I saw it with my own eyes. So I
want to learn as much as I can to come up with
a program and go to different parts of the world
to conduct workshops to help women heal their
broken hearts.
Speaking of broken hearts, you went
through a painful break-up six years ago.
Has that made you more wary about falling
in love again?
It has helped me to better understand what
I want and don’t want. (Laughs) And I stand
up for myself more now. I’ve been so used to
suppressing my feelings all these years. And
the break-up, as well as my life experiences,
have helped me to be a lot more courageous.
You’ve been single since then. Do you still
believe in love?
I still do. But there are days that I question if I’ll
ever meet the man of my life. And it hurts when
I think about it. But I still want to be hopeful.
Did the fact that you guys were engaged
hurt even more?
Of course. It felt like a divorce — six years
together did not feel like a break-up to me. It’s
not like it was six months (laughs).
Who called the wedding off?
The both of us just knew towards the end. We
just couldn’t continue anymore. There was
no more transparency and honesty to have a
healthy relationship. Let’s not even talk about
marriage. But I’m over and done with that part
of my life. I’ve completely moved on and there’s
no need for me to bring up or even think about
the past. To me, that’s a chapter completely
closed, shut and locked away that I’d never ever
want to address again.
Does this mean you won’t answer any
more questions about him?
Yeah, and he’s married. So I don’t want
his family or loved ones to read this and
misunderstand me again — that I’m trying to
rake up the past, that I’m being insensitive, or
that I’m still in love with this man. I don’t want
such nonsense anymore. To me, it’s a chapter
closed. Please, you move on with your life and
I move on with mine. (Laughs) I don’t want to
have anything more to do with this man or this
relationship.
So what are you looking for in the next
relationship?
(Long pause) Sorry, I need a bit of time. (Shuts
her eyes and falls into silence for a while before
regaining her composure) I’d still want to be a
giver. I’ve always been, and I always will be. And
I just hope and pray to God to bring somebody
into my life who’s also a giver.
You still attend City Harvest Church. What
do you make of the fraud scandal?
Nothing has changed for me. For the past
15 years of my life, I just know of City
Harvest as a church that is a spiritual family
to me. I’d never forget the times when I was
at my lowest and Pastor Kong [Hee] and Sun
[Ho] would hold my hand and walk me through
darkness. There was once I was hospitalised
’cos of depression. And Kong Hee rushed down
to see me even while he was in the midst of
the trial. I’ll never forget that moment a man
cared enough to go the extra mile for me. Or
the countless number of hours that Sun sat
me down to console and guide me through my
darkest moments. So who am I to judge and
throw stones at them when I’ve tasted their
goodness? I’d fight fiercely for anyone who has
shown me love. ’Cos that’s who Belinda truly is.
I’m a fighter. Fighter for love.BRA airs every Mon to Thur, Ch 5, 10pm. RenovAID
premieres Feb 6, 2018, and airs Tue, 9.30pm.8 DAYS | 39