JANUARY 2018|COSMOPOLITAN 19
Disclaimer:IadoreNewYear’s
Eve.Iliketheideaofeveryone
participatinginarbitraryrituals
andgettinglostinthehedonism.
Therearetwoorthreedaysofleaveleftandwe’re
poppingcheapbottlesofsparklingwinefornoreason
otherthanthefactthatit’sNYEandwecan?Countme
in!Butdrunken,recycledresolutionsofallthethingswe
ditchedinthepastyear?Meh,I’mgood–I’lljustchime
in to do the countdown.
There’sapartofmethathasathingforstartingnew
habits on Mondays, or at the beginning of a new month.
Ilikewaitingforthebrand-newstartofthe1sttomake
bulletjournalset-upsandgetbacktothegym.(LOL.Idon’t
actuallygotothegym.)ButIdon’tunderstandhowwe’ve
madethisbizarreconnectionbetweenanewyearand
an ability to dramatically transform habitual behaviour
overnight,andtomakethattransformationlastforthe
rest of the year. Even worse: we frame the remainder
oftheyearasforfeitedtime–andwhenweeventually
stopgoingtothegymbyFebruary,webeatourselves
upaboutit.We’resettingourselvesupforahaunting
feelingoffailureandanoverwhelmingsenseofwhy
TF bother for the next 10 months of 2018 before we’ve
evengiventhenewyearachance.Whatawaste.
If you want to compile a list of goals defined by a new
year,youdoyou,boo.AllI’msayingis,theideaofbeing
abletohittherefreshbuttonatanytimeoftheyearisa
lotmoregentlethanberatingyourselfforfailedresolutions.
If2017wastheyearofrealisingstuff,2018istheyear
of the anti-New Year’s resolution. Habits shift, many
plot-twistscanhappenin365days,andadultingis
toounpredictabletosaywhatyourlifewilllooklike
twomonthsfromnow,letaloneayear.I’drathersee
progressasacontinuumthanadestination.Placing
astaticsetofexpectationsonyourselfdoesn’tleave
muchroomforactualgrowth,no?
Ithinkit’sradtowanttobeabetterversionofyourself,
andIlovethesmelloftransformationintheairwhenthe
countdownhits11.59pm.ButtheonlyresolutionsI’llbe
making this year are the quiet instructions I give myself
everyday:stayinyourlane,keephydrated...and
everybody’sfreetowearsunscreen.
If there’s one thing I miss about
mychildhood(otherthannot
havingtothinkaboutcarpayments
orhowTFtaxeswork),it’sthatfeeling
ofnewnessthatcamewiththestartofeveryschoolyear.
Eachnewgradebroughtshinynewstationeryandasetof
goalsIwasdeterminedtoachieve.InGrade7Ihadmyheart
setonbeingmadeaclassmonitor;byGrade11,notbeing
a prefect in matric wasn’t even an option. Roll your eyes
atmynerdynatureallyoulike–weallhadgoalsatschool,
big and small. Our childhood was full of dreams, and a
hopefulnessthatcanbecomesomewhatdilutedwithage.
Forme,NewYear’sresolutionsareatimeforinspiring
goal-settingsimilartothego-getterspiritthatcomeswith
thatfirstdaybackatschool.Itmightbetruethatonlyeight
percentofpeoplefollowthroughwiththeirresolutions–but
doesthatmeanthey’reawasteoftime?No.Andhere’swhy.
Atschool,ourgoalswere(mostly)realisticandspecific
toaveryparticularmomentinourlife.Sure,wantingto
becomeanastronautwasalittlehopeful–butwantingto
beaprefectorgetkissedbyyourplaygroundcrush?Totally
doable,andbasedonwhatwasgoingoninyourlifethen.
Asadults,wecanlosesightofthiskindofachievablegoal-
setting.WhenitcomestoNewYear’sresolutionsweexpect
miracleswithasideorderofmagicdust,andthat’swhyso
manyofusfailtosticktothem.Decidingonthe1styou’re
nevertouchingsugaragainwhileknowingchocolateisthe
only thing that helps when you’re PMS-ing hard? That’s a
miracle-levelresolutionrightthere.Butcommittingtosugar-
free Mondays and only half a bar when it’s that time of the
month?Realistic,doableandspecifictoyourneeds.Besides,
notachievingallresolutionsisneverareasonnottomake
theminthefirstplace.It’slikethatsaying:aimforthemoon
–evenifyoumiss,you’lllandamongthestars.
Adulting is difficult enough without denying yourself
thepleasureofafreshstart–andthat’swhataNewYear’s
resolutionis.It’stheexcitementoflayingoutyourjust-
polishedschoolshoesandnewbackpackthenightbefore
thefirstdayoftheacademicyear.It’sachancetoevaluate
whatyoureallywantoutoftheyearahead,andfigureout
howtodoit.Ifyou’rehonestwithyourselfandlooktoyour
innerkidforinspiration,youmightfindyourselfgoinginto
2018withasetofgoalsthatare100%worthyourtime.■BUSANG SENNE
COSMO content producerBIANCA HARTEL
COSMOonlineeditor#REALTALK
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA