VODYA NOYTempted to take a nocturnal swim in an Eastern European river?
Don’t. You may become the next trophy – or trophy wife – of
the vodyanoy, a Slavic slimeball who terrorises the waters, but is
completely powerless on land. This flabby frog-man has long greasy
green hair, a greenish beard, webbed hands and feet, a fish’s tail
and glowing red eyes. The vodyanoy disguises himself as a beautiful
riverbank flower or a floating bouquet to lure unsuspecting young
women, whom he then drags into the water to become his brides. He
also drowns and enslaves anyone foolish enough to bathe after dark,
on a holy day, or without first making a sign of the cross.His Slovenian, Czech and Slovak cousin, the vodnik, is more
sophisticated. He looks human – except for the gills and green
skin – and he traps the souls of the drowned in cups with porcelain
lids, which he proudly displays as a vodnik status symbol. Along
with miscellaneous monster business such as drowning people,
causing devastating floods and ripping holes in fishermen’s nets,
the vodnik likes to play cards, ride catfish and smoke his pipe.
Indeed, fishermen seek his help with their catch by sprinkling
tobacco in the water. •EACH-UISGE
Lurking in the seas, rivers, lakes and waterfalls of northern Europe
are an unholy saddle club of shapeshifting horse-monsters. These
include the Welsh Ceffyl Dŵr and the Swedish bäckahäst; but the
most bloodthirsty and dangerous water-horse of all is the each-uisge
(pronounced ‘ech-ooshkya’) of the Scottish Highlands.
Like its cousin the river kelpie, the each-uisge masquerades as a
magnificent, sleek horse standing tamely on the beach or beside a
loch. But once you climb on its back, its skin becomes so adhesive
you can’t dismount, and it drags you into the water, devouring you
with demonic gusto – except your liver, which floats to the surface.
Every loch and isle has a resident each-uisge; the silky grey horse
of Loch Eigheach (which means ‘Horse Loch’) was said to scream
triumphantly as it plunged its prey into the water.
But the each-uisge is a lover as well as a feaster. It likes to impregnate
local mares, siring unusually high-spirited foals. And it often lures
women by appearing as a studly, charming man – though the water
weeds and sand in his hair might give the game away. The moral: if a
handsome stranger invites you in for a dip, say neigh.
063 SMITH JOURNAL