Reflections of a Deaf Scholar 175
framework, which I use in the chapter to shed light on my personal experiences
and memories of obstacles I faced while trying to become the first deaf person in
Belgium to obtain a doctoral degree. A self-reflective stance contributes to transpar-
ency in the struggle for recognition of deaf epistemologies, in a context where deaf
studies has not yet been institutionalized. I have come to view this self-reflection as
an act of empowerment, creating room for my own position as a deaf scholar and
for mastery of my own life story.
The second section covers my personal process of awareness raising, which is illus-
trative of the transition from the darkness of communication barriers and isolation
to the light and warmth of sign language and community experienced by many deaf
peers. This section also illuminates the origins of my empowerment research in the
Flemish deaf community, which are rooted in life stories. Here I discuss the process
of developing research as a young deaf scholar in a time of emerging conscious-
ness, when deaf adults were starting to acquire professional positions and young
deaf people were beginning to attain advanced degrees. Because such opportuni-
ties were often unavailable in Flanders, a growing number of Flemish deaf people
started studying abroad to gain expertise and to experience access. This brought
them into contact with deaf professionals and with deaf scholars, an experience
beyond the conception of many Flemish people until the 1990s and early 2000s.
In the chapter’s third section, I focus on my long-term research stay at Gallau-
det University, where I further explored the topic of deaf empowerment, this time
with international deaf people—people who had come to the United States, spe-
cifically to Gallaudet, for work and study and who identified as “international” at
the time (see also Chapter 4). I cover the intersection of emerging deaf strength
and my own process of personal and professional empowerment in an environment
that provided rich opportunities for participation and equality, where deaf stud-
ies and deaf education were well-established fields, and where both scholars and
my peers recognized my work. Rewriting my life story through the lens of Gallau-
det—through a shared vocabulary and collective resources—was a transformative
experience. Simultaneously, my interactions and friendships with international deaf
people, in combination with my experience of cultural differences, contributed to
the emergence of a transnational deaf identity and strengthened the cross-cultural
perspective in my work.
In the fourth section, I explore conflicts between this more equal social and aca-
demic position where deaf epistemologies were taken for granted and the pursuit
of my doctoral studies in a context where deaf scholars were virtually unknown and
theories in the field of deaf studies had not been recognized. The barriers I had to
overcome during my doctoral studies were also related to the growing influence of an
ideology of neoliberal meritocracy on the academic scene, which combines the idea
of meritocracy (i.e., that hard and productive work should be rewarded), which itself
is not problematic, with free-market thinking (which values competition in the pursuit
of economic gain). This combination had some negative effects, such as increased
competition among scholars, to the point where academic integrity came under
threat (Verhaeghe, 2012). Due to these challenges, I was confronted with the paradox
of undertaking research on deaf empowerment while not actually feeling empowered.