Why has it become so hard to keep track of car names and
denominations? And more importantly, which numbers
and leters now ofer up the best option for pety one-
upmanship in the Asda car park?
he problem could be age, of course. As a kid, when men
across the country still spent their Sundays tinkering under
their “motors”, mainly to avoid having to do any household
chores or parenting, it seemed easy. A leter “I” for injection
on the back of your boot was the minimum requirement,
with extra points kicking in if combinations like GT or
CS were in there somewhere and local hero status for the
revered “Turbo” suix. Back then it was the biger the
number, the biger the engine. Simple times.
But as carmakers added new model sectors like ciy cars,
SUVs, performance tuning sub-divisions, hybrid engines
and future-facing electric versions, it’s now easier to
memorise the human genome than it is the Mercedes-Benz
A to S Class system.
All manufacturers seem to have their own baling
combination of alphanumerics, alongside made-up words
which appear to have been signed of during hot Friday
It’s a numbers (and leers) game
Car names are becoming more
complicated and confusing than
the Wandsworth one-way system.
By Will Hersey
aternoon meetings when Alan’s leaving drinks
were about to start.
his year, Jaguar launches the E-Pace
and I-Pace to add to the F-Pace. he E-Pace
is a smaller version of the F-Pace but while
E might sugest electric to you, it isn’t. hat’s
the I-Pace. he “I” being a hangover from iPod
perhaps, and adapted by multiple industries
to imply innovation. Volkswagen is going one
further and has just announced it’s changing
its entire logo to herald in the new electric era.
It’s all a long way from the Ford Model
A, where it all began. Basically, we’ve gone
through the leters. We’ve gone through the
numbers. We’ve gone through the animals
— Mustang, Panther, Jaguar, Cougar, Impala,
Stag, even Beetle. And we’ve gone through
most of the silly names, too; Vauxhall Adam,
Mitsubishi Letuce and the recent Ferrari
LaFerrari (proof that no brand is immune),
come high up that particular list.
We still have the made up, of course.
his year, the luxury SUVs Lamborghini Urus
and Rolls-Royce Cullinan lead that category.
And there is still some hangover from
the old days, the leters “RS” currently being
the most bragable thanks to Ford, Audi and
others producing crazily powerful engines
under its umbrella. It’s a badge that can still
get men in fleece jackets taking photos in
motorway service car parks.
Perhaps we atempt a Soviet-syle
renationalisation of car names. Small, Smaller,
Smallest. he Fast One. hat kind of thing.
At least some manufacturers aren’t taking
it quite as seriously as others. For Tesla, Elon
Musk always wanted a Model S, a Model E and
a Model X, but Ford spoiled his schoolboy gag
by blocking copyright on the Model E. He went
for the Model 3 instead.Initial reactions
Top: in the Eighties, Volkswagen’s
iconic hot hatch the Golf represented
a golden era of car names
Above: a cheey Audi campaign
poster from New Zealand in 2013Style 59