Pope Culture
A
nyone from a Filipino family
knows what it’s like to have a
dependable panganay, a bunso
who is the family’s baby for life, and the
middle children lumped in between. We
take a closer look into the stereotypes of
being born first, in the middle (whether
you’re second, third, or even eighth!), or
last—and see how we can break free of
what’s holding us back.OH, GROW UP!
We do a quick rundown of what’s good about your position
in the family—and remind you that nothing is set in stone.
by Tata Mapa
Parents are often able to give
their undivided attention to
their first born, so a panganay
tends to move with confidence
and assurance. He or she also holds a
position of entitlement and privilege—
along with the responsibility of being
a kuya/ate to younger siblings. Some
examples of famous eldest children
are Hillary Clinton, Sean Connery,
and Tessie Sy-Coson of the SM
conglomerate.Middle children often feel
overshadowed and forgotten
as their eldest and youngest
siblings usually get more
attention. In some cases, when the eldest
does not become the leader, the next
in line assumes the role. But for the
most part, middle children are known
for being flexible and more open to
taking risks than the eldest, who is
usually concerned with getting
things right. Famous middle
children include Jose Rizal, Pippa
Middleton, and Sarah Geronimo.The bunso comes into the
family when the parents are
more relaxed and even more
financially stable. As such, the
last baby in line is often doted on
by both parents and siblings. So it’s no surprise
that youngest children are known for being
carefree, likeable, and charming.
Just take a look at famous
youngest children like George
Clooney (whose older sister is
an accountant!), Tina Fey, and
Kris Aquino, and you’ will see what
we mean.Eldest children usually grow up to be natural
leaders with a take-charge personality. They
tend to be responsible and success-oriented,
which bodes well when kept
in check. But these good
qualities can also result
in perfectionism and
resentment toward younger
siblings they always feel
accountable for.There’s a stereotype of the middle child being
kulang sa pansin. But this is not always negative
since many middle children have flourished
in life precisely because they needed to try
harder to stand out. In fact, feeling neglected by
their families often motivates middle children
to be more sociable and outgoing. Their
position in the family also leads them to be
more aware of the moods and
needs of others, leading many
of them to hold the role of
peacekeeper—especially
since they can be obsessed
with fairness.Because they’re used to having others take
the lead, youngest children tend to be less
responsible and aware of what’s going on. They
are also allowed to be more creative, and know
how to endear themselves to others—
and many have built careers with the
aid of their fun-loving personalities.
They are more likely to take risks than
their older siblings, but are sometimes
not equipped to deal when things
go wrong. Some youngest children
actually become very competitive
because they don’t like feeling
“left behind.”Now that you’re all older, teach (not just tell)
your younger siblings to handle their own
affairs, and slowly start to delegate family
responsibilities. If you trust and respect that
your siblings might not do things “your way,”
you may be surprised with how capable they
can be. And most importantly, let go and
allow others to take care of you (and
resist the urge to do things yourself
because you can do them better).
After all these years, you deserve it!Are you a middle child who always thinks of
yourself in relation to the rest of your family?
Or do you have a hard time making decisions
because you take each family member
into consideration? Perhaps it’s time you
forged your identity outside your family. Join
organizations or groups—and stop yourself
from explaining your family background.
For once, experience what it’s like to
be an individual that’s not part of a
greater whole, and embrace the
who that you is. You will still be
connected to your family even if
they aren’t in your head all the time.If you’re tired of being treated like a baby,
you first have to stop acting like one. And
determination might not be enough. Through no
fault of your own, you might have missed out on
honing fundamental skills such as organization,
planning, and decision-making. So if you have a
brilliant idea for a business, think of all the nitty-
gritty work that needs to go into
making it happen. And if it seems
too complicated, don’t feel
frustrated. If your older siblings
can do it, you can too! You just need
to start from the bottom and learn
the ropes—just like everyone else.PROS AND CONS MAKE IT BETTER
PHOTOS FROM EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG (THEMATTHEWSLACK, STUART CRAWFORD), FREEPIK, AND INSTAGRAM (JUSTSARAHGPH AND KRISAQUINO).