This is one of the sacred
10 Commandments, so it
certainly deserves to be
heeded—especially by young
children who are under their
parents’ guidance and care.
In fact, when we are young,
this commandment usually
translates to having to obey
our parents at all times as
they do their best to form us
into good human beings. But
what happens when children
get older? Does “honoring”
our parents still mean obeying
them no matter what? Or
are we allowed to grow up
and start making decisions
of our own—even if these
different choices may anger
or disappoint our parents?
“There are many ways to
silence young people and
make them invisible. Many
ways to anesthetize them, to
make them keep quiet, ask
nothing, question nothing.
There are many ways to
sedate them, to keep them
from getting involved, to make
their dreams flat and dreary,
petty and plaintive.” This
might come as a surprise, but
it was Pope Francis himself
who spoke these words when
he addressed the youth in a
homily. In the same Mass, he
went on to encourage those
present by saying, “Dear
young people, you have it
in you to shout... It is up
to you not to keep quiet.
Even if others keep quiet, if
we older people and leaders,
some corrupt, keep quiet, if
the whole world keeps quiet
and loses its joy, I ask you:
Will you cry out?”
Lolo Kiko’s rousing words
also bring to mind one of
the readings of the Feast
of the Holy Family, from
Colossians 3:12-21: “Fathers,
do not provoke your children,
so they may not become
discouraged."Parents will always want
what is best for their children,
but the truth is that they
may not always know
what is best for them. And
fathers and mothers who are
used to being followed are
thrown off or hurt when their
grown children want to do
things differently. But what is
important to note is that the
definition for honor changes
as we come of age. It moves
beyond simply obeying, and
evolves into respecting
and loving our elders in
an informed and mature
manner. As such, with the
passing of time, perhaps
the goal of both parents
and children should be to
find a way to respectfully
discuss and even disagree
with one another. Because
this, moving forward, is not
only natural, but healthy for
families. Instead of seeing
“honor” as an expectation of
blind obedience, putting an
emphasis on mutual regard
can smoothly usher in the
next stage in life, where joyful
nurturing and care for aging
parents comes into play.