This adage serves as a spot-
on antidote for workaholics
who stay late at the office,
a spouse who is tempted to
party all night, or a young
child who wants to run off
with the barkada to skip out
on duties at home. In fact, this
heartwarming saying makes
for the ideal slogan to cross-
stich onto a pillow or frame
on a wall along with family
photos. But things get a little
tricky when the first word of
the saying, “my,” takes up
too much of the equation,
and this heartfelt saying turns
into a convenient excuse for
bad behavior.On the shallow end of the
spectrum, always puttingone's family first can lead
to the Wala Ka Sa Lolo Ko
outlook, where no one else
can hold a candle to our own
families. This unfortunately
leads believers to miss out
on appreciating the talents,
achievements, and overall
wonderfulness of others.
And on a deeper level, putting
one's family above the rest
becomes the justification for
gossiping, cheating, stealing,
lying—and even major graft
and corruption—where we
delude ourselves into thinking
that all these are acceptable
for as long as they are for the
sake of the family.We are often blind to our own
transgressions when it comesto caring for our kin. But one
major indication that the “My
Family Comes First” thinking
can be unbalanced is when
we are on the receiving
end of another family’s
self-serving acts. Our
instinct is to cry foul—even if
we may have done something
similar ourselves. But instead
of focusing on who did what
to whom first, perhaps we
can take a cue from our dear
Pontiff. “Do unto others as
you would have them do
unto you (Matthew 7:12),”
Pope Francis once said. “Let
us seek for others the same
possibilities which we seek
for ourselves. Let us help
others to grow, as we would
like to be helped ourselves.”It’s a reminder that can help
us shift out of the clannish
tendency Filipino families
are know for, so that we
can instead embrace our
Bayanihan Spirit—not just as
a buzzword—but as a way of
life. Or as Lolo Kiko has said,
“God calls us, urges us to
escape from individualism,
[from] the tendency to
withdraw into ourselves, and
calls us—convokes us—to
be a part of His family.” There
will be no need to put one
family above another if we
recognize that we are all God’s
children in the brotherhood
and sisterhood of man.MY
FAMILY
COMES
FIRST
...but what if you’re disrespecting others?