182 Part III: South Asia
“female purity complex” emerged, in which women’s virtue is prized and is
seen as a problem for the men of her family. She must be a pure virgin at mar-
riage; this led to early marriage in which girls were given in marriage before
puberty so there could be no question of their virginity. Often there would be a
first “marriage” in childhood at age six or eight, and then a second “marriage”
at puberty when she actually went to live with her new husband and his family.
This ensured not only that the girl was a virgin but also that she would be pli-
able in accepting her role in her new household as the youngest woman in a
house where women’s status was age-ranked: the senior woman, wife of the
senior male, was in control, followed by unmarried daughters of the house and
wives of the sons of the household.
It may seem to be a contradiction that the Indian pantheon is filled with
powerful goddesses while actual women are kept in submission. What about
Durga, the goddess who killed the buffalo demon? Kali, the drinker of blood?
Saraswati, the goddess of wisdom? Lakshmi, the bringer of wealth? Wives are
often said to be Lakshmis who bring the wealth of dowry into the home. But a
woman’s truest nature and best potential is said to be embodied in the virtuous
Sita (see box 5.7). The life experience of most women is to be kept sheltered by
their male kinsmen, in her early years in her father’s house and village, and
after marriage in her husband’s house and village, as Sita was protected by her
husband Rama and brother-in-law Lakshman. But the princess of the late
Vedic Age is not uniformly seen as a perfect role model.A Woman’s Life Cycle
Parda/Purdah. The practices of seclusion of women are collectively
referred to as parda. The most conservative Muslim women literally “wear the
curtain” whenever they leave the house, in the form of the full-body wrap
known as the burqa. Hindu women use the end of their saris to cover their
heads when they go out, or may have the entire rickshaw swathed in a sari, but
for the most part living “in parda” means not going out but rather staying in
the courtyard of one’s own household, and even out of sight of the senior men
of the household. Servants and children can be sent to shop or carry messages.
Household architecture has been shaped to the needs of parda; throughout
much of India a house is built around a central, enclosed courtyard where the
women and children stay. There are women’s quarters, the zenana, and men’s
quarters, the mardana. Guests do not get beyond the front verandah.
Stridharma. A woman’s career is her husband. “Career,” of course, is too
modern a term; let us use dharma instead. Stridharma, the dharma of women,
is devotion to one’s husband. A woman’s life is devoted to serving her husband
and giving him children; her virtue protects him; he is her “lord.” The very
word for husband, pati, means both husband and lord. At marriage she
becomes a pativrata, one who has “taken a vow to her husband/lord.” She wor-
ships him by eating the leftovers from his plate as prasad, just as worshippers