National Geographic Traveller

November 2016 145

ON THE TRAIL OF THE

CANAL LOBSTER

Rolling Kitchens is a five-day food festival in

a ‘culture park’ north west of the centre. I’ve

barely time to be heartened by the banner

above the entrance, which shows a plump

lobster on wheels, before I’m enveloped by

noise, smell and colour. Scores of open-sided

trucks — row upon row of them — are serving

food cooked at little hobs or on coal-fired

grills, while musicians bang drums or strum

guitars outside.

Every corner of the globe is covered. There’s

Indian cuisine at the Bollyfoods van (slogan:

‘Get curried away!’) and Vietnamese street

food at Nom Nom. Let’s Salsa has Mexican

tacos, Just Say Cheese (‘Sweet dreams are

made of cheese, who am I to diss a brie!’) offers

cheeseburgers, and Everything on a Stick

is exactly as described. I pass Duck & More

(‘Not just duck!’), Mr Brasa (‘We smoke it all!’),

Shrimp & Co and Dutch Weed Burger (made

from seaweed rather than the other sort)

before finally reaching the truck I’m after.

Even with all the weird and wonderful

foods around it, the Kitchen of the Unwanted

Animal still swivels heads. Where else can

you wash a My Little Pony Burger down

with a glass of Japanese knotweed juice? Its

origins are as unorthodox as its menu. “I’m a

conceptual artist, not a cook,” says founder

Rob Hagenouw, handing me a goose croquette.

“My kitchen was meant as a statement.”

Rob is pained by society’s profligacy. On

discovering that geese shot at Schipol airport

— to cut the risk of bird strikes — were simply

thrown away, he decided to highlight the

waste by creating something tasty from these

unwanted animals. Hence his croquette,

which is creamy inside with a spicy coating.

After that, he turned to other ‘pests’: musk

rats, city pigeons, parakeets, even the ponies

abandoned by cash-strapped owners during

the financial crisis. His van goes down a storm

at festivals. “Kids dive straight into the pony

burgers — it’s the mothers who aren’t so sure!”

“And canal lobster?” I ask, hopes raised like

pastry on a parakeet pie. “Yes,” says Rob. “But

I don’t have any here. Your best bet might be

Restaurant As.”

Thwarted again, I seek consolation in a

coffee at the Grand Hotel Amrâth Amsterdam.

Originally built in 1912 as the headquarters for

a number of the city’s shipping companies,

this is a place dripping with symbols of

the Golden Age, from the world map in its

stained glass roof to the billowing sails in its

mahogany panels. But what also strikes me

is that it represents the last gasp of a glorious

maritime era — the shipping companies

Even with all the weird and

wonderful foods around it,

the Kitchen of the Unwanted

Animal still swivels heads.

Where else can you wash a

My Little Pony Burger down

with a glass of Japanese

knotweed juice?

ABOVE: Rob Hagenouw and Nicolle
Schatborn, owners of the Kitchen of the
Unwanted Animal food van

LEFT: Typically wonky merchant houses
along the Singel canal

AMSTERDAM