have become the default setting for
the News of the World’s one-time star
reporter, Mazher Mahmood.
The sting which trapped Allardyce
was run by the investigations team
from a posher newspaper. In the
course of a couple of dinners at a Man-
chester Chinese restaurant, fuelled by
what looks like pints of Chardonnay,
he asked for 400 grand to do some
speaking in the Far East. He also
told journalists, who claimed they
were from a major far-eastern sports
agency, that it wasn’t that hard to get
round the rules on third-party owner-
ship of players. His speaking demand
was, I think, largely to put them off,
and it was constantly made clear by
Allardyce that he would have to run it
by the FA. As for the other part of the
charge sheet, even I know how you can
get round rules on third-party owner-
ship and I don’t begin to understand
them. It’s not a hanging offence.
Within hours of the report being
published, Allardyce was sacked.
Investigative journalism has a fine tra-
dition: the sinking of the former Eng-
land manager did not form part of that.
And nor did the FA cover itself in
glory, either, moving too fast and too
soon, like frightened rabbits, scared of
social media and anxious that more
revelations would follow. (There
weren’t any). Now, it might be the best
thing for England that Allardyce is no
longer in charge, but justice was not
done at all.T
he other day Sam Allardyce
was photographed with Sir
Alex Ferguson at a Manches-
ter United Champions League match
at Old Trafford. It was clearly the first
step in some sort of Allardyce rehabili-
tation programme. Now, I was never a
great fan of his appointment as Eng-
land manager: anyone who calls them-
selves ‘Big’ should probably not be
allowed anywhere near a once-great
English institution. What we have now
— Gareth Southgate on a trial, or, one
day I hope, Eddie Howe of Bourne-
mouth — is preferable. Nonetheless,
the manner of Allardyce’s execution
by the FA is troubling.
Entrapment has a long and hon-
ourable tradition in investigative jour-
nalism — in exposing wrongdoers and
villains, sex offenders, criminals, arms
dealers. I have done it myself (catching
a corrupt immigration official who was
trading visas for sex with vulnerable
asylum seekers). But there is a nasty
downside too, and that comes when
investigators use entrapment to cre-
ate a largely phoney offence and then
expose it. After a while this seems to
How moved were you by that
vibrant Test match in Chittagong?
Thrilling, wildly unpredictable, mes-
merising in its twists and turns, met-
aphorically and literally, with some
extraordinary spin bowling. I wish
Bangladesh had won: it would have
been marvellous for this developing
Test-playing nation. But what troubled
me was that such a wonderful piece of
sport was played out in front of such
a meagre crowd. If Bangladesh, where
cricket is without rival in its claim to
be the national sport, cannot muster a
decent crowd, what hope has the Test
format got? Can it be that it is now in
its death throes?
Certainly not for England and
Australia matches, and in the summer
there were record crowds at Lord’s
for the Pakistan Test. But elsewhere?
It will be interesting to see whether the
forthcoming series between Australia
and South Africa shows signs of inter-
est in Test cricket dwindling in one of
the sport’s greatest strongholds. Even
the upcoming five-match series for
England in India won’t pull in many
full houses. But we mustn’t let Test
cricket dwindle in Bangladesh, as it
has in the West Indies and Zimbabwe.
It’s a long time since the Rio Olym-
pics, so why there was such a gap
between the Games and the recent
celebratory parades beats me. After
all, there is only so much time you can
remember what a taekwondo bronze
medallist looks like.Q. We hired a villa in the
Camargue through the so-called
‘Sloane web’. You either know
the uber-Sloane who runs it or
you don’t. All his properties are
in perfect taste and located in
idyllic spots. No one is ripped off.
However, we have just returned
from a villa whose (Sloane)
owner stayed on in an annexe
close by for the first three days
and continued to do lengths in the
pool every morning and join us
for dinner every night, dropping
names all through the courses to
justify her presence. She was fineas a person but we had paid to
have the villa to ourselves. What
should we have done?
— Name and address withheldA. After dinner on the first night
you should have used the fond
farewell tactic, saying ‘Lovely
seeing you. Let’s make a date for
your next visit.’ When she retorted
‘Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,’ you
would have replied, ‘’Fraid not.
We’ve got a financial adviser
coming. We’ll need complete
privacy, even at the pool. We’ll let
you know when the coast is clear.’Q. Is there a correct way to
shuffle playing-cards? A friend
who plays bridge at my house
shuffles by dividing the pack
in two and then, using fingers
and thumbs, she melds the two
halves horizontally, in the process
bending each card. This grislyritual is repeated seven times ‘for
luck’. As a result my ‘good’ cards
(the Smythsons, the Tiffanys...)
are kept hidden, and we play
bridge with my by-now bruised
and battered Bicycles.
— J.L., Cape TownA. Bridge tutor at Kitchenbridge
Barry Farncombe replies: ‘The
friend is “rifle shuffling” the cards,
but sadly only completing half the
shuffle, which is leading to the bent
cards. Once the cards have been
bent into two halves, they should
be bent in the opposite direction,
arching the cards so they cascade
back into one pack, and there will
be no bends in the cards (this is
the most common shuffle used
by magicians). The Tiffany and
Smythson cards are suited to the
‘overhead shuffle’ only, due to
their size. Even that shuffle will
cause damage over time as theedges of the cards collide with the
other cards. But Bicycle cards are
perfect for rifling, as long as the
reverse bend takes place.’ Why not
boast to the friend that you have
had shuffling lessons and show
her the correct way?Q. I live alone but my 15-year-old
grandson will be coming to stay
with me several times this winter.
I love his visits but alas he spends
most of his time in his bedroom.
How can I socialise with him?
— Name and address withheldA. Turn off the central heating
during his visits but have a
powerful electric heater on in the
kitchen. You will soon find your
grandson settling happily beside
you (no doubt with his iPhone).
He may even look up from it on
occasion and offer to help you
with some of the washing up.Spectator Sport
Allardyce’s sacking
was not just
Roger Alton
Even I know
how you
get round
the rules on
third-party
ownership. It’s
not a hanging
offenceDEAR MARY YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED