).û4(%û$!93ûOFûREGRETûFOLLOWINGûTHEûlNANCIALûCRISIS ûBANKû
CEOs could regularly be heard swearing – on oath at a
Congressional hearing. But now they’ve cleaned up their
act, they can get back to proper swearing.
,ASTûWEEK û$EUTSCHEû"ANKûCHIEFûEXECUTIVEû#HRISTIANû
Sewing lambasted a colleague, saying that it was
“bullshit, bullshit” to use speculation about a merger with
Commerzbank as an excuse for its poor performance.
!NDûHESûRIGHTû$EUTSCHESûPOORûPERFORMANCEûISûALLûOFûITSû
own making.
But was his repetition of “bullshit”” really necessary for a
man who has vowed to get rid of duplication?
The moderator of the internal conference call tried to
smooth things over, reminding participants not “to quote
Christian on that”.
Sewing’s “double bullshit” provoked applause and laughter
on the call, suggesting that his fellow executives like the new
sweary boss much more than his cleaner alter ago.
Maybe he’s road-testing a new persona. Still he’s still got
SOMEûWAYûTOûGOûTOûMATCHû*AMIEû$IMON ûWHOûSWEARSûLIKEûAû
rapper – and in public.
3PEAKINGûONû(ALLOWEENûATûANû!XIOSûCONFERENCEûINû,OSû
!NGELES û$IMONûWASûASKEDûABOUTûWHYûHEûHADûCHANGEDû
his mind about Bitcoin, after previously criticising the
cryptocurrency.
(EûTOLDûHISûAUDIENCEûHEûDIDNTûWANTûTOûBEûCASTûASûTHEû
spokesperson against Bitcoin adding that, anyway, he
“doesn’t give a shit” about the subject.
With JP Morgan’s share price riding high, Jamie can
probably say what he likes. Christian, on the other hand,
should maybe watch his Ps and Qs.
.%73û4(!4û,/.$/.3 Metropolitan Police force is lending its name
to ranges of clothing, toys and tourist souvenirs in order to fund
frontline policing could provide a way for Europe’s lenders to
boost revenues as they continue to fall behind their US rivals.
Of course, some banks are more advanced with “merch”
than others. For example, UniCredit already has Elkette, a
creepy soft toy mascot.
She’s primarily used to pep up staff morale and position the
Italian lender as cuddly, but maybe the Italian bank should regard
her as a genuine revenue generator in the run-up to Christmas.
$EUTSCHEûHASûAûCOUPLEûOFûOPTIONSû!SIDEûFROMûAûSWEAR
BOXû
for the boss, it could produce its own brand of hard-hats
for those tricky investor presentations. UBS could go less
formal and market its own brand of slippers as its bankers
kick back after the Andrea Orcel era.4(%û#/,,!03%û/& Lehman Brothers has been blamed for
much of what is wrong with the world, so why not also pin
the underperformance of Aston Martin’s IPO on the hapless
lender too?
It seems like a stretch, but Bellwether has some evidence
to back up this claim. A scan through the IFR archives
reveals that Lehman’s former Europe CEO Jeremy Isaacs
owned an Aston Martin Vantage and his colleagues had a
SIMILARûPENCHANTûFORûmASHYûCARSû&ORMERû,EHMANITEû-AKRAMû
Azar could regularly be heard revving his Porsche outside
THEûBANKSûOLDû(1ûONû"ANKû3TREET ûFORûEXAMPLE
The Lehman crew were stunned when they found out
about the wheels driven by two of their counterparts at
Nomura, which rescued Lehman’s European and Asia
operations in 2008. One drove a Toyota Picnic, the other
Aû.ISSANû!LMERAû4HISûNOTûONLYûREmECTEDûTHEûCULTUREûCLASHû
BETWEENûTHEûTWOûlRMS ûBUTûTHEûCOLLAPSEûOFû,EHMANûALSOû
removed a chunk of Aston’s core customer base. Bellwether: n. From the practice of placing a bell around the
neck of a castrated ram so that it might lead its flock
Bellwether
Who’s moving where...
^ EVERCORE has
hired Anthony Laubi as
a senior managing
director in its European
industrials team
focused on paper,
packaging and forest
products sectors. He
will be based in
London. Laubi joined
from Credit Suisse,
where he was most
recently vice-chairman
of the industrials team
and head of paper and
packaging EMEA. Prior
to joining CS in 2008,
he had been head of
European industrials
corporate finance at
Deutsche Bank.^ Suneel Bakhshi has
been appointed
president and chief
executive of MIZUHO
INTERNATIONAL,
replacing Michiel de
Jong. He joins from the
London Stock
Exchange Group,
where until October
2017 he was chief
executive of LCH, the
clearing house inwhich LSEG has a
majority stake. Before
that he worked at
Citigroup for over 30
years. De Jong has
been in his position at
Mizuho’s London-
based investment
banking arm for six
years. Bakhshi will join
the firm by January.^ NOMURA has hired
John Gousias as head
of flow credit trading
for EMEA. He replaces
John Milligan, who left
in August. Gousias will
be based in London.
He joined from
investment firm
Millennium
Management, where
he was a portfolio
manager. Hepreviously worked at
HSBC for two years as
co-head of flow credit
in its private bank and
before that he worked
at RBS, Credit Suisse
and Morgan Stanley.