SA_F_2015_04_

10 SA Flyer

BUMPPFF

Quotes of the

Month

O

N 13 March, a

mischievous RV-12 pilot

seemed to have planned

his flight over Lakeland,

Florida so that he drew

this image with the flight

path. The FlightRadar

‘artwork’ was picked up

by Aviation news service,

@Airlivenet.

“If you are going to crash an aeroplane in the

US, do it on a golf course!! Chances are there are

more trauma surgeons there than in any hospital!!”

• Andy

Allen Grimes – on the Wall Street Journal board

“Any landing you walk away from is a good one.

He did not, however, replace that huge divot before

moving on to the 9th hole. Bad form.”

Both of these quotes are in response to Harrison Ford’s

crash on the golf course.

N

EWS Thump published this satirical news

piece after the hugely popular pictures of the

woodpecker-flying weasel made their way

around the Internet:

Weasel shocked by hidden charges after

‘cheap’ Woodpecker flight

As Essex Weasel has spoken of his

anger at the outrageous ‘hidden charges’ following his 50p flight

with Woodpecker Airlines.

The weasel responded to an online advert which promised

one-way trips across Hornchurch Country Park for just 50p, but

was left with a bill for £130.50 when he checked his credit card.

The Weasel told us, “It said 50p, but if you wanted priority

boarding it was another tenner, then I made the mistake of

ordering an in-flight meal and forgetting to print off my boarding

pass.”

“Apparently you’re supposed to tell them you want to take a

bag, too, which seems ridiculous as who flies without a bag?”

“Then there was a 5% levy in order to actually pay them. Yes, I

had to pay them in order to be able to pay them – I know!”

“Worst of all, I booked a flight across Hornchurch Country

Park, but when I landed I realised I was actually in Romford, which

is miles away and nearly an hour on the bus from where I wanted

to be.”

“Frankly I’m disgusted, and I’ll never fly Woodpecker again.”

WEASEL WOODPECKER FLIGHT

A spokesperson for WoodpeckerAir said that all charges were

clearly visible on their website if you know which sub sub-menu to

look at, and that 50p flights are available to anyone who sticks to

the rules.

They told us, “Of course, if you think you can just leap on a

Woodpecker whenever you like and get a flight without making a

proper booking, then of course it’s going to cost you more than the

advertised rates.”

“But rest assured we are committed to providing weasels the

cheapest flights possible between places sort-of near where they

want to go.”

“But only when they make a proper booking.”

A

j

j

The original photo

of the woodpecker-

flying weasel taken

by Martin Le May.

FLIGHT RADAR

'artwork'