the times | Wednesday May 25 2022 29
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Buy prints or signed copies of Times cartoons from our Print Gallery at timescartoons.co.uk or call 020 7711 7826MPs find self-worth far from the greasy pole
Disgraced politicians can escape the endless scandals by focusing on good causes rather than their own ambitions
embarrassed the government into
extending free school meals.
In the by-elections in Tiverton &
Honiton and Wakefield, both caused
by scandals, the parties have struggled
to find candidates. Who would want
to go into the parliamentary cesspit?
Ask any MP whether they would
encourage their child to follow in
their footsteps and they look appalled.
The only ones who seem to be
coping are the MPs who have
decided to go it alone and find a
cause other than just clinging
desperately on to their seats. Some
on backbench committees are
doggedly holding the government to
account. Laura Farris, MP for
Newbury, may turn down a position
as a ministerial aide to remain on the
standards committee, which will
judge whether the prime minister
knowingly misled parliament. Tom
Tugendhat, the Tory chairman of the
foreign affairs select committee, has
exposed the disastrous withdrawal
from Afghanistan last summer.
MPs need to remember why they
are in parliament. As Williamson
said about Somaliland: “We have the
opportunity not just to manage the
status quo but actually change things
for the better, to make a difference
and to take the steps needed and
required to improve the lives of
millions.” If MPs could do this in
Britain, they might also rediscover
their purpose and self-worth.indefensible prime minister while
some, such as Rishi Sunak, look as
though they think they may have
made a mistake even standing for
election, their reputations have been
so traduced. Meanwhile, Tory MPs
are facing a barrage of concerns from
increasingly frantic constituents over
their gas bills, lost passports and an
inability to see a doctor or dentist.
Labour and Lib Dem MPs seem
almost as despondent, cut off from
the rest of the country in theirasbestos-ridden palace, unable to
dislodge the government however
badly it behaves.
Politicians languish at the bottom
of career-choice polls. Waste disposal
workers, teachers and nurses are
more satisfied with their jobs. They
know they are making a tangible
difference. MPs, though, are
increasingly upstaged by committed
campaigners. Martin Lewis, the
money saving expert, has done more
than anyone in opposition to help
people struggling with spiralling
inflation. The former food bank user
Jack Monroe has been showing them
how to cook cheaply and the
footballer Marcus Rashfordof the expenses scandal. Now they
are tainted by sexual harassment
cases and arguments about lockdown
parties and whether their leaders
swigged beer or wine while much of
the country suffered stoically.
The Tories seem the most morose
as they limp along, devoid of ideas,
despite their 80-strong majority,
unable even to decide whether it’s in
their interests to get rid of Boris
Johnson. The new intake are voting
fodder working family-wrecking
hours. They have few mentors to
look up to in cabinet. Jacob
Rees-Mogg, Priti Patel and Nadine
Dorries aren’t shining exemplars and
almost no one in the party appears
to be showing much moral courage.
Some are dreading turning up to
jubilee celebrations in their
constituencies. As one West Country
Tory MP told me: “We are the
wicked fairy godmother at the fête. If
they’re not blaming us for the
parties, it’s the sex scandals, jokes
about porn or anger at the cost-of-
living crisis.” Negativity swirls
around them. They can’t point to any
flagship measures in the Queen’s
Speech that don’t sound petty or
pointless. They know they are meant
to be against Channel 4, the BBC, the
judiciary, any wokery, wedge issues
or wonks but they don’t know what
they stand for intellectually.
The most coherent ministers are
dragged out to defend theirT
he only politicians I have
seen looking happy
recently are three whose
ministerial careers ended
catastrophically. Gavin
Williamson, the most disastrous
education secretary in my lifetime, a
man loathed by a generation of
schoolchildren for messing up their
exams, has become a hero in
Somaliland. The impoverished
breakaway republic has embraced him
as a saviour after he championed
their cause in the Commons. A
cappuccino has been made with his
likeness sprinkled on top; he was
mobbed when visiting Hargeisa, the
capital; there was a national
appreciation day in his honour;
babies have even been named Gavin.
Williamson is uncharacteristically
modest about his new-found fame
halfway across the globe, but he is
beaming. He must feel appreciated for
doing something useful rather than
demonised. “I was just completely
overwhelmed,” he said. “I was very
surprised and very humbled.”
Brooks Newmark, the bumptious
former Tory MP, had to resign as
minister for civil society in 2014 after
a newspaper disclosed he had been
sexting someone he thought was a
Tory aide while in his paisley
pyjamas. Recently he has quietly led
the evacuation of nearly 8,000
Ukrainian women and children from
Mariupol, Dnipro and Kharkiv. “I
thought this is my moment to stand
up and be counted,” he said when the
Sunday Times correspondent
Christina Lamb bumped into him.
Even Matt Hancock has found a
post-resignation cause in dyslexia, to
go with his new polo neck. None of
these men has made money out of
these actions or sought headlines,
but they seem content. They have
actually done some good and found acause other than their own promotion.
It’s a dire time to be a politician.
The electorate understandably hold
the profession in contempt. I’ve never
in 30 years seen MPs so depressed
and demoralised, adrift and self-
pitying. Few will feel much sympathy.
But many MPs come into politics
wanting to make a positive difference
and most are failing miserably.
They’ve only just got over the legacyEven Matt Hancock
has found a cause, to
go with his polo neck
The Tories seem most
morose as they limp
along, devoid of ideas
Alice
Thomson@alicettimes