The Economist May 28th 2022 Britain 27Theuseless machine
B
ell labs, the former research arm of at&t, an American tele
coms giant, invented large chunks of the modern world. Tran
sistors, the silicon solar cell and the laser all started life at its lab
oratory in New Jersey. Engineers there also invented something
utterly pointless. Nicknamed the Ultimate Machine, it was a small
wooden box with a lid and a switch. The switch did one thing only:
if turned on, an arm popped out of the lid and flicked it off again.
Watching a useless machine repeatedly turn itself off was “dev
astating”, wrote Arthur C. Clarke, a sciencefiction author. “There
is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does
nothing—absolutely nothing—except switch itself off.” A similar
sense of dread occurs when examining the Tories’ record in power
over the past 12 years. The Conservative government exists to undo
the previous acts of Conservative governments.
It starts with the government’s flagship policy: “levelling up”.
In theory, this is a fundamental reshaping of Britain, which will
see economic largesse and political attention shift from a spoilt
southeast to a neglected north and Midlands. In practice, it
amounts to replacing some of the funding lost under David Cam
eron’s 201015 coalition government and its successors. In the de
cade to 2020, local government funding was halved in real terms.
Since some services, such as social care, are statutory, others
were slashed to compensate. Parts of the public realm that make
an area nice—the libraries, parks and emptied bins—suffered
most. Now money removed by the Tories during austerity is being
dribbled back, often to marginal Tory seats, in a weird form of po
litical extortion: vote Conservative or the flowerbed gets it.
It is a similar story when it comes to dealing with rocketing en
ergy prices. Ofgem, which regulates energy prices in Britain, said
this week that the typical annual energy bill would rise by about
£800 ($1,000) to £2,800 this autumn. An alliance ranging from La
bour to Martin Lewis, a personalfinance guru, have demanded
more government action to support poorer households.
By heeding their calls, Mr Johnson will again be undoing previ
ous Conservative Party policy. The costofliving squeeze is so
acute in part because benefits have fallen steeply in real terms
since 2010. An unemployed person is about £700 a year worse off
in real terms than they were in 2010, according to the New Economics Foundation, a thinktank. If the government wants to sur
vive a chilly winter, generous support for Britain’s less welloff is
almost obligatory. In order to stay in power the Conservative gov
ernment will return money a previous Tory government removed.
Sometimes the selfcancelling action is as quick as the mach
ine that so disturbed Clarke. No sooner had the government
agreed the Northern Ireland protocol, part of the Brexit with
drawal treaty that keeps the province in the eu’s single market for
goods, in early 2020, than it started threatening to undo it. Skip
forward three years, and Britain and the eustand on the brink of a
trade war over the topic. Liz Truss, the foreign secretary, cranks up
the rhetoric with Ireland, only for more soothing noises to emerge
elsewhere from the British government. Click, whirr, click.
Policies change as times do. There is usually, however, a con
sistent thread when a party stays in power. Yet almost every fea
ture of the Cameron era is being erased. George Osborne, the then
chancellor, boasted of making Britain’s corporation tax the lowest
in the g7. Rishi Sunak, the current chancellor, plans to return it to
25%, above the oecdaverage. Flagship policies of that period are
now forgotten. New Schools Network, a governmentbacked char
ity that helped set up “free schools”, has shut down after the gov
ernment cut its funding. The Health and Care Act passed this year
unpicks the botched nhsreforms put forward under Mr Cameron.
Strategically, running against previous Conservative govern
ments has merit. Mr Johnson can present his government as a new
one, untarnished by the nine years of Tory rule that preceded him.
Such political midair refuelling is hard to pull off. Labour did not
manage it when Gordon Brown succeeded Tony Blair in 2007. The
Conservatives themselves failed to do it after Margaret Thatcher
was turfed out of office. A certain brazenness is required, which
suits Mr Johnson to a tee. Humility would do no good. Facing a
camera and proclaiming “Oops! Our mistake!” would not trigger a
surge in Tory polling.
Politically, it makes sense too. Austerity was popular when it
happened to other people. There is little innate love for Mr Camer
on’s project of tight spending and social liberalism. In 2010 the
Conservatives failed to win a majority on the back of an enormous
recession. In 2015 they managed only a slim one of 16. By contrast,
in 2019 bigspending authoritarianism helped win the Conserva
tives their first large majority since Thatcher. That Mr Cameron is
Mr Johnson’s lifelong rival makes burying his legacy an enjoyable
task. Inventing a pointless machine is fun; for parts of the govern
ment, so is trampling on its predecessors. There is no alternative
Unfortunately for them, the Conservatives have been in power for
so long that almost any problem can be laid at their door. Govern
ments are usually kicked out when voters want fresh policies. But
in the general election of 2019, a fusion of Brexit and Labour’s left
ward tilt ensured that a Conservative government was returned
with the pledge of doing something new. The Conservatives were
handed the task of undoing Conservative policy.
Just as Clarke found a useless machine perturbing, there is
something obscene about a government that has so much power
but does so little with it. The government has become an opposi
tion in office, railing against the actions of its predecessors. Use
less machines are now sold as amusing toys on Amazon for £11.85.
“They would make perfect retirement gifts forunsuccessful chief
executives,” suggested Clarke. The Conservativeprime minister
does not need one; he can just look in the mirror.nBagehot
How the Conservatives became an opposition in government