Flight International - August 18, 2015

STRAIGHT&LEVEL

ightglobal.com 18-31 August 2015 | Flight International | 49

From yuckspeak to tales of yore, send your offcuts to [email protected]

perhaps because the narrator’s

suggestions were too accurate?

We might not know exactly what

X-37B is doing in space, but we

now know for sure the air force

has lost its sense of humour.

Tanker rancour

Losing the US tanker contest

clearly still smarts for Tom End-

ers. At the recent Airbus Group

results, the chief executive and

former paratrooper noted that the

A330 MRTT has won every com-

petition in which it has taken

part in the past 10 years, with the

exception of the US programme.

“It is the most capable and

most efficient tanker aircraft,” he

noted, adding dryly: “And by the

way, the US Air Force would

admit that behind closed doors

I’m sure.”

Waterbird return

We are used to invitations

advising us on dress code: black

tie/uniform, business suit and

the favourite of our American

cousins, smart casual (dinner

jacket and swimming trunks?).

However, those attending next

month’s re-enactment of the 1911

Waterbird flight over Winder-

mere in the Lake District are

implored to don “Edwardian

dress and practical footwear”.

Capt Edward Wakefield’s origi-

nal Waterbird was the first air-

craft to take off from and land on

water, outside France or the

USA. The flight of the replica on

17 September by The Lakes

Flying Company is designed to

commemorate Wakefield’s

contribution to aviation.

Admiral of the Fleet Sir

Benjamin Bathurst and John

Gordon, great grandson of the

pioneering airman, will attend.

We wish the project well.

Psychic news

And finally, this week’s Crystal

Ball Award goes to a certain US

aviation fortnightly which prom-

ises potential readers in a promo-

tional email “upcoming award-

winning editorial”.

According to HL Mencken, “a

journalist should never say what

is going to happen...”

Back-seat read

Thanks to Paul Heasman for
sending a thumbs-up from the
chaps at the Royal Air Force’s
Valley base after reading our
cover feature about the Hawk
T2s flown by its 4 Sqn training
unit (Flight International, 21-27
July). There’s clearly quite a
queue to get hold of a copy.
Our fee for the stunning cover
and feature images went to 4
Sqn’s chosen charity – the Ty
Gobaith Children’s Hospice. To
make a donation, visit justgiving.
com/HawkT2RoleDemo

US Air farce

For a brief, gleeful moment we
thought the US Air Force had a
funny side. But apparently it
doesn’t. On 5 August, it posted a
“tech report” video on YouTube
about its secretive, Boeing-built
X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle, but
the clip was quickly pulled. Too
risqué, apparently.
In the video, the narrator dares
to ask: “What is the X-37B doing
in space? Is it a space bomber? Is
it a surveillance sensor? Is it tam-
pering with other satellites?” As
we think we’re about to find out,
the narration is bleeped and
“Top Secret” is stamped across
the screen. It was a witty ruse,
and a call for people to speculate
about the space plane’s odd mis-
sion in the comment section.
We can only presume some
top general somewhere in the
bowels of the Pentagon didn’t see
the humour and killed it –

“Nice formation-reading, Hoskins”

Don’t goddam humo(u)r me! Here are tomorrow’s headlines...

Everett Collection/Rex Shutterstock

Rex Shutterstock

Paul Heasman

100-YEAR ARCHIVE

Every issue of Flight

from 1909 onwards

can be viewed online at

flightglobal.com/archive

Nerves of steel

When one considers the

nature of flights over hostile

territory, be they

reconnaissance,

range-finding, or

bomb-dropping

expeditions, subject all the

while to the liveliest fire from

anti-aircraft guns, it seems a

marvel that pilots, and

observers too, do not suffer

nervous breakdown.

Ready for a pint?

The Germans are believed to

have put 500 aircraft into the

air in the day.

Southampton was

no easy victim.

One Spitfire

squadron bagged nine Ju. 87

dive-bombers and four Me.

109s. The city did not escape

unscathed. Eight public

houses were damaged, but in

one only the windows were

broken and the 400 drinking

glasses escaped.

The new standard

There is concern about the

concerted programme of arms

sales run by the

US Department

of Defense,

whose declared

objectives can be summed up

as ”standardize free world

weapons by buying American”.

Over the rainbow

Rainbowing, an optical

problem associated with

laminated windshields, first

became evident

in 1976 as pilots

flying F-llls began

complaining of

seeing colours on their

windshields. Now the US Air

Force has developed a

portable transparency optical

test system (P-TOTS).