C8 EZ RE THE WASHINGTON POST.SATURDAY, MAY 28 , 2022
ACROSS1 “How we all
doing?,” e.g.10 Waiter at a
stand13 “Wanna?”
15 Thurman of
“Hysterical
Blindness”
16 Forte
18 Pin in the back
19 Wii forerunner
20 Attacking
surfers, maybe
22 Exasperated cry
25 Drew on?
26 One of the
“Black-ish”
parents
27 Digital
permission29 Domingo, e.g.
30 Performs like
Saweetie
31 Management
level
35 Curiosities
37 “Black Panther”
setting40 Queen of
Arendelle41 Louboutin item
42 Cacophony
43 Dessert
that can be
microwaved in
a mug47 __ factor
48 Something that
can’t miss
50 Natl. Merit
Scholarship
hurdles
52 Go out briefly
53 LG rival
54 Poke bowl
option55 Making a
booty call?60 Sofa bed site
61 “Peace”
62 Spots
63 Romantic
ideal
DOWN1 Short sucker?
2 Not over Zoom,
say: Abbr.3 Arthur who
appeared on
“A ll in the
Family”
4 Considering
5 Attractive
words?
6 Humble abodes
7 Nwodim of
“SNL”
8 Loose garments
9 Disappearing
discount stores
10 Pie type?
11 Modify
12 [Just like that!]
14 Fake feelings
17 University with
a law school at
Greensboro
21 Host of,
casually
22 Online request
23 Basic font
24 Parents
25 Ta nks, e.g.
28 Berkeley, to
sports fans
32 Birthplace
of novelist
Rohinton Mistry33 Order
34 Orders
36 “A ntiques
Roadshow”
determination
37 Unfriendly way
to answer the
phone
38 “No problemo!”
39 “Just relax”
41 Regal rod44 Part of UAE
45 “__ of the
Louvre”:
Emma Lazarus
poem
46 Let up
48 Followed
a doctor’s
order?
49 Frontier
trader’s goods51 Leaves
for lunch
52 “Did it!”
53 Anti-piracy org.
56 Go dark?
57 “Make __
double”
58 Barclays
Center
player
59 Coll. testLA TIMES CROSSWORD By Karen Steinberg
FRIDAY’S LA TIMES SOLUTION© 202 2 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. 5/28/2 2
Adapted from an
online discussion.Dear Carolyn: My
spouse and I have
been working on a
project together.
Multiple times my
spouse has said,
“I’m trying to
figure this out,” and I have tried
walking away to let them, only to
get yelled at for abandoning
them. I’ve tried contributing
thoughts ... only to get yelled at
for not having patience. I’ve
stayed silent and patiently
waited ... only to get yelled at for
doing nothing. And I’ve said,
“Okay, I’ll let you figure this out,”
so I acknowledge hearing them
and providing a reason for my
non-participation ... only to get
yelled at because it’s something
WE need to figure out.
Most recently I asked my
spouse to be sure to say what they
mean, then got yelled at because
they said what they meant.
It’s beginning to lead to my
feeling of always being wrong
with no right choices, which feels
like having to walk on tiptoes on
shattered glass and/or
immediately apologize for giving
the wrong answer or making an
error. It’s a feeling my spouse
says they see on me and is not a
good look and something I
should work on. If I say okay,then I’m told I’m just not
listening and brushing the
comment off.
What am I not seeing that is
going on?
— SpouseSpouse: Emotional abuse.
That’s what’s going on. You’re
seeing all the elements of it, but
not the whole of what it means.
That is a lot of yelling,
negating, gaslighting.
What I see that is not going on
is your holding a baseline of self-
advocacy: saying to Spouse, “I’ll
be reading my book. I will not be
yelled at. I will gladly talk about
this when you’re calm,” then
leaving the room.
Then not budging even if your
spouse yells at you for leaving.
Not one nanometer. Don’t engage
with yellers, not even a spouse. If
they follow you to keep yelling,
then leave the house.
Because it is abuse, and it is
not okay. Stand up for yourself.
And do not stay in a relationship
with someone who continues to
yell at you after you've named the
problem.
So that you’re not taking my
word for it, and to manage this
safely, contact the National
Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-
800-799-SAFE or thehotline.org.Re: Project: How about getting
more to the root of it all? Haveyou worked together on a project
in the past? What’s going on?
He’s clearly angry/upset/
frustrated. Find out why,
perhaps.
— AnonymousAnonymous: Maybe that will
work if the obnoxious behavior is
isolated to this one project — but
I find it hard to believe it is, given
the intensity. And even then the
yelling and blaming are
unacceptable.
We don’t know the gender of
the spouse, by the way.Re: Project: There’s no moment
of, “Aha! So that’s why you were
repeatedly treating me with
verbal and emotional abuse!”
This cannot be fixed. People old
enough to be married should
have a basic handle on their
emotions. I lived this way for far
too long, where I twisted myself
into a pretzel to find the “right”
way that wouldn’t set him off.
There is none. I’m sorry.
— Ex-PretzelWrite to Carolyn Hax at
[email protected]. Get her
column delivered to your inbox each
morning at wapo.st/gethax. Join the discussion live at noon
Fr idays at washingtonpost.com/live-
chats.When spouses tackle a project, one isthe hammer and the other is the nailCarolyn
HaxNICK GALIFIANAKIS FOR THE WASHINGTON POSTThe seven-person jury, which
will resume deliberations Tuesday
morning, will weigh whether both
are entitled to damages, and if so,
what amount. They began deliber-
ating at about 3 p.m.
Depp’s team has attempted to
paint Heard as vindictive and abu-
sive, and the attorneys argued that
she purposely destroyed his career
by accusing him of abuse. Depp
lawyer Camille Vasquez said the
“Pirates of the Caribbean” actor
sought a divorce in May 2016, after
one year of marriage, which en-
raged Heard. “She didn’t just want
a divorce. She wanted to ruin him,”
Vasquez said during closing argu-
ments.
Defense attorneys maintain
that Depp consistently abused
Heard but that it doesn’t actually
matter in this trial, pointing to free
speech protected under the First
Amendment and that the op-ed
doesn’t actually describe any of
the alleged abusive acts to which
Heard has testified. Instead, said
Heard lawyer Ben Rottenborn, it
focused on her “experiences after
Johnny Depp.”
“We’re not running from the
fact that when she discussed be-
coming a public victim represent-
ing domestic abuse, Amber was
speaking of her experience report-
ing domestic abuse against John-
ny Depp,” Rottenborn said. “But
that doesn’t make the article, or
the statements, about Johnny
Depp.”
Before closing arguments be-
gan, Judge Penney Azcarate an-
nounced that the names of the
jurors will be sealed for a year,
given the high-profile nature of
the case. The trial, which began on
April 12, has garnered massive at-
tention and coverage, even with
raging war in Ukraine, the poten-
tial overturning of Roe v. Wade
and multiple mass shootings.
Depp’s fandom has turned out
overwhelmingly for the trial,
sleeping on the sidewalks over-
night to get a spectator wristband
to get in the courtroom. Hundreds
gathered behind courthouse by
8:30 a.m. Friday, eagerly waiting
for Depp to arrive on what might
be his last day in court. “When y ’all
hear the motorcycles, it’s time,”
one person advised a group. Some
dressed in pirate costumes, and
one couple brought a pair of col-
TRIAL FROM C1
lies named Donald and Danny,
dressed up in ties as “Depp legal
team.”
In a courtroom filled to capac-
ity, both sides made emotional
pleas to jurors. Vasquez asked for
the jury to give Depp “his life back
... what is at stake in this trial is a
man’s good name”; while Rotten-
born called Depp’s lawsuit “vic-
tim-blaming at its most disgust-
ing.”“Think about the message that
Mr. Depp and his attorneys are
sending to Amber, and by exten-
sion, every victim of domestic
abuse everywhere: If you didn’t
take pictures, it didn’t happen. If
you did take pictures, they’re fake.
If you didn’t tell your friends,
you’re lying. If you did tell your
friends, they’re part of the hoax,”
Rottenborn added.
Vasquez told the jury thatHeard fabricated her claims and
her testimony has been nothing
more than “a performance, the
role of a lifetime.” She repeated a
question Depp’s team has made
throughout the trial: Why aren’t
there medical records or photo-
graphs detailing Heard’s alleged
injuries, and why didn’t anyone
see Depp abuse her?
“As an actress, she was photo-
graphed all the time. Where are
the pictures of the horrific injuries
Heard describes?” asked Vasquez,
who also again questioned why, if
Heard was so afraid that Depp
would get drunk and high and
beat her, she once gave him an
knife engraved with “till death” as
a gift.
“This is MeToo without any Me-
Too,” Depp attorney Benjamin
Chew later said.
Rottenborn, pointing to Depp’s
heavy drinking and drug use,
questioned how the actor could
even fairly account for what hap-
pened. He reminded a jury of mul-
tiple allegations of abuse includ-
ing those at Hicksville, a Southern
California luxury trailer park
where Depp allegedly performed a
forceful cavity search on Heard
before trashing a trailer; on aflight to Moscow, during which
Heard said he hit her and threat-
ened to break the flight atten-
dant’s wrist; and in Australia in
which she said he sexually assault-
ed her with a liquor bottle.
Both sides also addressed
Depp’s infamous severed finger,
which also occurred during that
2015 fight in Australia. Depp
claims Heard injured him by
throwing a vodka bottle at him;
the defense suggests he injured
himself. Rottenborn said it doesn’t
matter: “Amber could have
chopped it off with an ax, and it
has nothing to do with whether or
not Mr. Depp abused her.”
The closing arguments repre-
sented a strange dichotomy that
has existed throughout the trial, in
which Heard and Depp and their
witnesses seem to recount the
same events in completely differ-
ent lights. Jamie R. Abrams, a law
professor with the University of
Louisville, said the “mirrored def-
amation claims filed by both sides
against each other” makes these
closing arguments unique.
“Ordinarily, closing statements
present the key strengths of the
client’s case and emphasize the
weaknesses of the opponent’s case
to show the other side hasn’t met
its burden,” Abrams said via email.
“Here, both cases have similar
weaknesses, which seems to be
distorting some of the focus in the
closing arguments that you might
ordinarily see in trial work.”
The actors first met around
2008 or 2009 when Depp cast
Heard in “The Rum Diary,” based
on the book by Hunter S. Thomp-
son. Heard’s part was described as
the “dream woman.” They had a
flirtation on set but were both in
other relationships at the time
(Depp with the mother of his two
children, Vanessa Paradis; Heard
with her wife, Tasya van Ree).
When they reconnected during
the film’s press tour more than two
years later, they were both single.
The two began a whirlwind ro-
mance as they promoted the film,
and Depp said he thought of her as
the “perfect partner.” But about a
year in, as many people testified,
things started to fall apart and the
two fought all the time. They got
married in February 2015, but in
May 2016, Heard filed for divorce
and a restraining order.
Heard moved to Los Angeles as
a teenager in the early 2000s toseek acting work, earning small
parts in feature films such as
“Pineapple Express,” “Zombie-
land” and “Friday Night Lights.”
Her break came in 2017, when
she was cast in the superhero film
“Justice League” as underwater
princess Mera. It led to a co-star-
ring role as the same character,
now the titular character’s love
interest, in the following year’s
“Aquaman,” a movie that grossed
more than $1 billion worldwide.
She’ll again appear as Mera in next
year’s “Aquaman and the Last
Kingdom,” though that she testi-
fied h er role has b een reduced, and
said she believed it was because of
the negative publicity surround-
ing Depp’s lawsuit — particularly
by the statements made by Wald-
man, Depp’s attorney, calling her
allegations an “abuse hoax.”
Depp, meanwhile, became a
teen idol in the late 1980s after
being cast in TV’s “21 Jump Street,”
which followed the adventures of
young undercover police officers.
He earned a reputation for playing
eccentric characters, often in Tim
Burton films, such as the titular
“Edward Scissorhands” and Willy
Wonka in “Charlie and the Choco-
late Factory,” but achieved global
fame as Captain Jack Sparrow in
Disney’s billion-dollar Pirates of
the Caribbean franchise in 2003,
which earned him his first of three
Academy Award nominations for
best actor.
During the past decade, howev-
er, he’s suffered a string of panned
films and box-office flops, includ-
ing “Mortdecai” and “Alice
Through the Looking Glass.” The
defense argues that his heavy drug
and alcohol use caused his career
decline, but Depp blames Heard’s
abuse allegations.
Mitra Ahouraian, a Beverly
Hills-based lawyer focused on the
entertainment business, said the
jurors are “probably sick of this
going on for so long.” She refer-
enced Rottenborn stressing that
the jury does not need to believe
that Depp was abusive, only that
he failed during the trial to prove
he never abused her even once.
“Hearing that as a jury member is
probably a big relief. It just makes
it really a lot simpler than, ‘Okay,
who abused more?’” she said.Helena Andrews-Dyer, Sonia Rao and
Paul Schwartzman contributed to this
reportAttorneys for Depp, Heard say it was their respective client who was abused
PHOTOS BY JABIN BOTSFORD/THE WASHINGTON POST
Fans cheer as actor Johnny Depp arrives at the Fairfax County Courthouse ahead of closing arguments.Fans of Depp clash with supporters of Amber Heard outside the
courthouse. Jurors began deliberations in the defamation case.