Pilot September 2017

78 | Pilot September 2017 http://www.pilotweb.aero

solo at 200 hours, but at least it was an
aerobatic one.
Reality returned on the downwind when I
looked down to see a small gathering
outside the hangar. That’s it, I thought, my
goose is cooked. Madam had listened to the
entire pantomime on the office handheld,
having rushed out of her office when she’d
heard my Fuji start up, far too late to stop
me. Relieved at my survival−I think−she
greeted me with a cold bottle of beer. I was
truly uxorious.
Around this time a massive discovery of
oil was made in our country. So massive in
fact that it was the biggest inland discovery
in Africa. It was clearly a game-changer and
the need for more aviation to the remote oil
fields was quite clear. An Abu Dhabi-based
chum who had a house on my island said
that Madam and I ought to pull our finger
out and gear up for oil. We hummed and
hawed and made noises about being a
lifestyle company, but this spurious line
was brushed aside by my friend who then
made a fairly sizeable investment in our
little company. Two more investors
coughed up, and Madam and I found
ourselves running a somewhat bigger
company that we had planned.

We decided to grow our tiny fleet by

managing and operating other people’s

aeroplanes, sticking to owning only two

small Fujis ourselves. This is a great idea

from a cash-flow perspective, and it works

for the aircraft owners too, their assets

being made to sweat a little harder. The key

to success is choosing your owners.

One memorable rejectee was a hulking

South African Boer whose massive bull head

Unfortunately we learned this only after

Madam had been taken for a sales flight.

No-Neck, a mid-hour PPL, had preflighted

the aircraft at dawn ready for a flip, as they

say in South Africa. He was waiting

impatiently on the apron for Madam−this

aviatrix is most definitely not a morning

person. Madam arrived and boarded the

aircraft. No-Neck, taking the left seat, started

up and backtracked for takeoff. So far, so

good. No-Neck seemed proficient enough

doing the engine run-up and the mag checks

so Madam relaxed a bit. Pushing open the

throttles the aircraft accelerated briskly down

the runway. Wanting to impress Madam

with the immense power and the glory of his

flying machine, No-Neck yanked back on his

yoke... and kept pulling. Feeling the buffet

Madam, now suddenly fully awake,

managed to reach out and shove her yoke

forward to avert disaster.

Years later we learnt that No-Neck

was running passenger charter operations

with his dodgy 402 and flying on his

now slightly higher hour PPL. Such is

aviation in Africa. The statistic used to be

seven per cent of the world’s aviation and

thirty per cent of the world’s accidents:

it’s not surprising.

African Skies | Going Solo

Now fully awake,

Madam shoved her

yoke forward to

avert disaster

joined directly onto his shoulders, omitting a

neck. Inventively, we christened him

No-Neck. One day No-Neck turned up with

a lovely looking Cessna 402 ten-seat twin.

We realised it wasn’t the right aircraft for us

when we discovered that the aircraft’s

documentation was scanty, the engines were

the wrong ones for the mark of C402, and

the propellers matched neither airframe nor

engines. Apart from that it was perfect.

No-Neck's lovely looking C402

disguised a litany of ills