8 May 29 , 2022
Date Labwith Rich Juzwiak
Y
ou don’t often hear people referring to their Date Lab
outings as “normal.” By “you,” I mean me — in the dozens
of interviews spanning the years that I’ve written for this
column, only about three people have called their dates “normal”
(per a search of my mostly complete transcripts). You (or at least,
again, “I”) might say that it is, in fact, abnormal to describe your
time meeting someone completely blind while knowing that
anything you say can and will be printed in The Washington Post
as “normal.”
“It was just ... normal,” said Ethan Hovanic, 27, of his meal at
Farmers & Distillers in Mount Vernon Square with 28-year-old
Stacy Fleming. Her assessment that she arrived at
independently: “It was kind of normal, maybe?”
The upside of this date turning out to be conventional is that
Ethan and Stacy had low expectations going into it. Both
expressed if-it-happens-it-happens attitudes toward finding a
romantic partner, to the extent that they have ditched dating
apps, at least for the time being. Ethan explained that apps are a
time suck, while Stacy is simply not a fan of first dates.
Unfortunately for her, this one had some of the markings of a
“classic first date,” at least according to Ethan. He said their
conversation, which kicked off around 5:30 p.m., was standard
meet-and-greet fare: “Nothing deep, nothing political, nothing
religious, nothing philosophical.” If that sounds underwhelming,
well, consider this faint praise Ethan gave as an overall
assessment: “I wasn’t sitting there looking at my watch for 7
o’clock to roll around.”
“We talked a lot about the whats — what your hobbies are,
what your job is, what you do after work — and not much about
the whos,” said Stacy, a government contractor. “We didn’t really
talk about what we’re looking for. We didn’t talk about
dealbreakers. We didn’t talk about the who-makes-us-who [we
are] qualities of ourselves. We kept it very middle-of-the-road.”
At least they ordered with panache. She nursed two
margaritas, and he had two whiskey drinks (one of them being
“essentially a piña colada but with bourbon”). She ate lamb, he
had Farmers & Distillers’ riff on chicken and waffles: Southern
Fried Chicken & Glazed Donut. The tone of their discussion was
not particularly funny, nor serious nor flirtatious nor romantic. It
just was, apparently!
“There wasn’t this instant spark or electric chemistry or
anything,” said Ethan, who works in medical sales. However:
“There was nothing said or done that was like, ‘Ooh, that’s a red
flag,’ ” he continued. “She was very sweet. I just don’t think the
click was there.” It almost sounds like if there had been a red flag,
someone might have passed out from excitement brought on byShe got his phone
number. Or did she?
Stacy Fleming
is 28 and a
government
contractor. She is
seeking someone
who is slim and fit,
has good style and
thick hair and is the
“life of the party.”Ethan Hovanic
is 27 and works in
medical sales. He is
looking for someone
who is athletic and
Christian, has blue
eyes and “looks like
Selena Gomez.”photo: Daniele SeissSign up for Date
Lab at washington
post.com/datelab.