October• 2018 | 75READER’S DIGEST
sensations. In myirst therapy session
I learnt deep breathing – a long slow
inhale through the nose, a long slow
exhale through the lips.
“his will be your tool to calm your-
self when you feel panicky,” the psy-
chologist explained.
A week later, we started imaginal
exposure therapy. She asked me to
tell her the highway routes near home
that were no-go zones. hen she asked
me to close my eyes and imagine driv-
ing the least scary route, to describe
each step and rate my anxiety levels
from one to ten.
“One,” I said, mentally backing out
of the drive, then “two,” as I turned
onto the next street. It jumped to
“eight” when I reached the road lead-
ing to the on-ramp. My heart was
pounding; I was starting to sweat. “Do
your breathing,” she told me.
She asked if I’d ever kept something
in my purse for when I felt unwell. In
fact, I had chewing gum for stomach
upsets. “Good,” she said. “Imagine
you’re chewing a piece of gum.”
Now, the moment of truth: in my
imagination I accelerated and merged
into highway traic. “Ten.”
My legs turned to jelly and I had
that awful feeling I’d lose control. “It’s
OK, keep breathing,” she said. “It’s
less than a kilometre to the irst exit.”
In my mind, moments later I saw the
exit ramp and began to calm down.
My relief turned to fear when she
said, “Your homework is to do that
for real this week. Remember your
breathing, bring your gum. It won’t
be much different from doing it in
your mind.”
So, one Tuesday after dinner, I took
a deep breath and grabbed the keys.
Just like in therapy, my heart pounded
as I got on the highway. But, using my
new tools, I made it to the exit with-
out my physical symptoms escalating.
I was overjoyed.
Over four more therapy sessions we
did imaginal therapy, each time taking
a tougher route or adding distance.
My homework matched what we im-
agined, and each week I could do it for
real, though I always returned home
on regular roads.
On a homework session that in-
volved the scariest route yet, I exited
the highway panic-free. I said to my-
self,What the hell, let’s give it another
go.I looped around and got back on
the highway towards home. It was a
feeling of pure victory, and I haven’t
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