SEX + RELATIONSHIPS1
SHE’S TURNING 25 OR
30OR35OR...
Milestone birthdays trigger
navel-gazing. “She’ll think
deeply about her love life and
its direction, and if it’s not going
the way she planned, she might
jumpatthechancetocorrectit
with an affair,” says psychologist
Don-David Lusterman, author of
Infidelity:ASurvivalGuide.
YOUR PLAN:Be there.
There are two nights when
everystraightwomanwantsa
maninherbed:NewYear’sEve
andherbirthday.Leavehersolo
and you’re giving her permission
–andreason–tocheat.2
SHE’S BEEN
PROMOTED
Womenliketohavegoals.
Whenshekicksagoalinher
career, says Bonnie Eaker Weil,
author ofCanWeForgive
Adultery? Staying Not Straying,
shemaytakeonalove-life
overhaulashernextproject.
YOUR PLAN:Brag about your
woman’s promotion. “Most
guys make the mistake of not
doing enough to celebrate their
girlfriend’s accomplishments,”
says clinical psychologist Scott
Haltzman. “When she sees
you honouring her, she’ll feel
as valued by you as she does
at work.”3
SHE’S MOVING IN
WITH YOU
Yes, it was probably her idea.
But now that you’re together
24-7andsharingeverydetailof
your lives, there’s not as great a
need to keep the conversation
flowing every minute. “She
could subconsciously interpret
this as meaning that you think
she’s boring, says psychologist
Stuart Fischoff. “If there’s
someone else around who finds
her attractive and intriguing- and shows it – she might go
for him instead.”
YOUR PLAN:SticktoyourA
game. Keep winning her over,
every day.
4
SHE THINKS
YOU’VE CHEATED
Revenge affairs are common.
Women have them in an attempt
to restore self-esteem and feel
desirable again. “It comes down
to human nature,” Heitler says.
“She’ll want to get even.”
YOUR PLAN:If you’re not
cheating, you have one insecure
womanonyourhands.She
probably has low self-confidence.
Your job: compliment her, sincerely,
specifically and often. “You can
make her feel better about
herself so she won’t become
vulnerable to these unfounded
suspicions,” Fischoff says.5
SHE’S NOT
GETTING ENOUGH
Oxytocin, a hormone that plays
acentralroleinoururgeto
bond, spikes to levels
three-to-five times higher than
usual just before orgasm. It’s
more intense in females than in
males, so women develop a
stronger sense of bonding
throughsex.“Ifthetwoofyou
are not having as much sex as
youusedto,shemightinterpret
this as a sign that you don’t find
herattractiveandthatyoudon’t
love her,” Fischoff says.
YOUR PLAN:Have more sex.
If she’s the one who doesn’t
want sex, investigate why.
Fixit.Getnaked.6
SHE’S READY
TO BOLT
One more reason a woman
might cheat: she wants to dump
you. Infidelity can break up
couples, so she might cheat on
purpose as an easy way out.
Psychologist David Buss, author
of The Evolution of Desire,
asked 100 men and women
which tactic they would use
to get out of a bad relationship.
One of the most common
answers: start an affair.
YOUR PLAN: She sucks – let
her go. You’re free!- By Laura Ongaro
I remember thinking, Wow, what just
happened? But it was my decision so I took
a breath and owned it.
Since that night my one-time lover has
barely left my thoughts. There were moments
in that bedroom that I won’t forget... when
I irst saw his body... when he went down
on me. He knew what he was doing. He knew
how to please a woman. When I think about
it and I’m alone, I’ll have to masturbate. I’ll
be lying on my bed or on the lounge and I’ll
use my ingers while I think about the things
he did to me.
My message to guys would be this: don’t
take your wife for granted. Spend time with
her, and not just on the couch in front of
the TV. Take her out. Keep giving her new
experiences. Keep surprising her.
Were my husband to ind out what I did- and what I intend to do again – he would
be furious. And unforgiving. It needs to stay
a secret because I want my marriage to work
for our children’s sake. I’ll always put them
irst. But if I get a moment to do what I want
to do, then I will seize it.”
signs she’sthinking of cheating6Even if you’re sure your
woman would never stray,
the urge may pop up at
one of these timesAS TOLD TO DANIEL WILLIAMS