—— An Unexpected Meeting ——97I perched myself on the edge of Vladimir’s bed and in no time
at all we were absorbed in the old game of: ‘Do you remember
how ... ?’
One day I asked Lena to take me outside, into the frost – I felt
like breathing some fresh air. She got me some clothes and led me
out by the back entrance. We had scarcely stepped onto the snow
before, to my great shame, I almost fell over – I was clinging onto
her shoulder before I had managed to take even two or three steps.
‘Never mind, never mind. It will pass! That’s the fresh air, from
not being used to it,’ said Lena.
My trancelike state indeed did soon pass and we slowly headed
across the whole yard along a path she had already trodden, out the
gate. We stood there for a little while. But I saw a lot in that short
time and only now, it seemed, did I realise what a real tragedy the
siege was. Several loaded trucks drove past us. They were carrying
the dead. Young and old, men and women, children, frozen, dead
in their apartments from hunger and cold, killed on the streets by
fragments of Nazi bombs and shells, pulled out from under the
rubble of collapsed buildings before they could get home from
work...
‘Let’s go, Lena. I’ve had enough,’ I said, my voice becoming
hoarse.
I had an agonising desire to get back to my regiment as soon as
possible, in order to take my rifle up again and wreak vengeance,
vengeance, vengeance on the Nazis for all the sufferings of
Leningrad’s residents.
One day the ward sister of our surgical department led me into
her office:
‘Get dressed, patient!’ and she pointed to a new uniform lying
on a chair.
Failing to understand anything, but accustomed to accepting
orders, I put on the diagonally woven tunic, dark blue riding
breeches and fine leather boots.
‘Just like being inspected by the bride’s family!’ I thought. And
I was not far off the mark.