32 | March• 2018ESTHER THE PIGIt’s true that I’ve always loved ani-
mals. My very first best friend was my
childhood dog, Brandy, a shepherd
mix, brown and black with floppy
ears and a long, straight tail. So I was
intrigued. A mini pig sounded adora-
ble. In hindsight, of course, the whole
situation was bizarre, but I’ve always
been a trusting person.
I replied with a casual, “Let me do
some research and I’ll get back to
you,” but I knew I wanted the pig. I
justhadtofigureouthowtomakeit
happen.
I lived in a three-bedroom single-
level house in Ontario, Canada. It’s
tricky enough bringing a pig back to
the house you share with two dogs,
two cats, your longtime partner, your
two businesses, plus a roommate. But
on top of that, only nine months ear-
lier, I’d brought our cat Delores homewithout talking to Derek about it. He
didn’t react well.
So I had to plan this right, to make it
look as if I wasn’t doing something be-
hind Derek’s back, even though Iwas
doing something behind Derek’s back.
A few hours later, I got another
message from the friend:
“Someone else is interested, so if
you want her, great. If not, this other
person will take her.”
You’re probably smart enough to
recognise this as a manipulative tac-
tic, and normally I’m smart enough
too. But I was not letting that pig go.
So I told my former classmate that
I’d take the animal. I gave her my ad-
dress, and we agreed to meet in the
morning.
I knew nothing about mini pigs. I
didn’t know what they ate; I had no
idea how big they got. Once I startedO
nenightaboutfiveyearsago,Iwasonmylaptop
inthelivingroomwhenIreceivedaFacebook
messagefromawomanIknewfromschool,
someoneIhadn’tspokentoin15years:“Hey
Steve,”shesaid.“Iknowyou’vealwaysbeenahugeanimal
lover.Ihaveaminipigthatisnotgettingalong with my dogs.
I’ve just had a baby and I can’t keep the pig.”Shewasmaybe20centimetresfromtiptotail,
withchipped pink polishon her little hooves