ReadersDigestAustraliaNewZealand-March2018

March• 2018 | 65

DIMINISHING RETURNS

I used to think I wanted three kids,

until I had two. Now I realise I

only want one. COMEDIAN LEE MACK

FEELING BLUE

I just got diagnosed as colour blind!

I didn’t expect that – it came straight

out of the purple!

@ANTARES_912 ON TWITTER

NEED A NEW HOBBY?

Spent all evening gluing watches

together to make a belt. Complete

waist of time.

@PUNDAMENTALISM ON TWITTER

HAPPILY NEVER AFTER

My daughter gets so pumped

watching Disney films. She loves

that they all have singing, dancing

and a part when the parents die.

ACTOR RYAN REYNOLDS

THE JOYS OF PARENTING

Kids are expensive, I didn’t even

realise how broke I was until last

year someone stole my identity and

it ruined her life.

COMEDIAN KATE DAVIS

EXPLAINS A LOT

*Creator of Charlie Brown sits down

to draw a cartoon*

“What do eight-year-old boys look

like again? Bald? It’s bald, right?”

@THENATEWOLF ON TWITTER

“It’s true – we do have 100 words

for snow, but most of them are

swear words.”

SIGHT GAG

I went to the optometrist

for new glasses the other

day and guess who

I bumped into?

Everyone.

SEEN ONLINE

ANIMAL CRACKERS

I took the shell off my racing snail,

thinking it would make him run

faster. If anything, it made him

more sluggish. Source: Reddit.com

CARTOON: NOAH JONES; ILLUSTRATIONS: iSTOCK