Skid marks
David Morley
KNOWI’vementionedthisbefore,butitstillamazes
me that some people will blindly continue down a
particular consumer path regardless of the warning
signs. I speak, of course, about those who wear
misguided brand loyalty as a badge of honour. The example I
usedlasttimewasthatofacolleagueofminewhocontinued
tobuySaabs,longaftertheproducthadbecomeasickparody
ofitselfandacrueljokeonthosestupidenoughtoswap
otherwiseusefulcashforit.
Therearetwopossibleexplanationsforthissortofbehaviour.
The first is that Old Mate was simply too dim and unimaginative
tothinkbeyondthelittleboxhehadassembledtokeephis
brain in (probably an IKEA box called ‘Feltj’). The second is
that he was busy living out some kind of Swedish fantasy. Now,
I’ve nothing against Swedish fantasies. But if I was to develop
one,I’mprettycertainitwouldinvolvetheblondedamefrom
ABBA,ahose-outhotelroomanda44-gallondrumofmoosefat.
Possibly the brunette, too. It would almost certainly not involve
some tarted up Vauxhall Vectra with a Saab badge stuck on
with chewing gum.
However, just as this sort of behaviour is ripe for a kicking,
it should also make us examine our own views on a particular
subject. And, on the subject of brand loyalty, I freely admit
thatIpossessnosuchthing.Butwhywouldthatbe?Why
wouldn’t I have attached myself to a particular tribe at some
stageandthenstuckwithitthroughthickandthin?Again,two
answerskeeppresentingthemselves.(A),I’mnot,despitethe
views of a dozen ex-girlfriends, a moron. Incapable of
puttingthelidbackonthemilkbottle,yes.
But an actual, clinically diagnosed
moron, no. And (b), I can’t forget
some of the hilarious highs and
lows committed by various
car companies over the
three decades
I
I’ve been doing this stuff.
Now, any company can get it right and wrong along a
particular timeline. I mean, in the 1990s, you had Ferraris
that would fly apart like a steak sandwich sitting on an air-
bag (you’ve seen the online videos, of course). But that same
company then came back and gave us the fabulous 488, which
not only survived PCOTY 2016, it also survived the Bathurst
12-Hour with a bunch of Supercar drivers trying to kill it for
the full half day in 30-plus ambient. In fact, the Fazza not only
survived, it won the damn race. I know, ’cos I was there.
Nope, any company can get it right then wrong like that. But
what really is amazing is the way some mobs can get it right
and wrong concurrently. Consider that wonderful year, 1986. I
had just moved to Melbourne and had my first gig as a motoring
scribbler. All full of hope and brand loyalty, I was. And then
Holden gave us the marvellous VL Turbo which proved that
unleaded could be a performance fuel and re-wrote the book
on six-cylinder performance. But almost in the same breath
(certainly the same year) Holden saw fit to force the VL Turbo to
share showroom space with the entirely repulsive little Piazza.
A weird-burger little Isuzu with an underdone turbo engine
and a wonky chassis, the Piazza was a Gemini that won Tatts;
a true turd rolled in glitter. And – you couldn’t make this up - it
was also $9000 more expensive than a VL Executive Turbo. Yet,
here was Holden, telling us all how both were wonderful cars
and deserving of our hard-earned.
And you wonder why I’m a bit cynical these days.M
“Almost in the same breath Holden saw fit to force the VL
Turbo to share the showroom with the repulsive Piazza”