Best Health — December 01, 2017

THE PLAYER

THE KNOW-IT-ALL

THE CHALLENGE
We’ve all heard the saying that father knows best. But
whether it’s your dad, uncle, mom or pesky older sister,
getting unwanted advice from a family member can trig-
ger feelings of resentment from deep within. “Family
members tend to be much more opinionated with one
another than they would be with strangers because of the
intimacy of family life,” says Sofin. While some advice
g ivers may be com ing f rom a genuine place of helpf u lness,
others may use this conversation technique as a way to
dominate.

THE GAME PLAN
Be gracious, don’t take anything too personally and
remember that their intentions are good – either they
really want to help or they’re simply looking for a way to
communicate with you. “Just dealing with that person
might be as simple as saying ‘Thank you, I know you care
about my well-being, but I’m not concerned about it at this
time,’” says Jacqueline Whitmore, an etiquette expert
based in Florida. It isn’t necessary to take their advice to
heart, but it is important to appreciate the sentiment.
“Then the other person will feel good, you’re out of the
conversation and you can move on to somebody else,”
adds Sofin.

THE PLAYER

THE NAUGHTY CHILD

THE CHALLENGE
Holidays mean excitement, which can take a rambunc-
tious child’s behaviour to the next level. “A lot of the time,
a kid just wants attention,” says Whitmore, adding that
indulging him will often soften his behaviour. “Depend-
ing on the age of the child, try to bring him into the con-
versation,” she says.

THE GAME PLAN
There’s a difference between a child who is behaving
badly and one whose behaviour you simply disagree with.
“You might not agree with a child’s fashion statement, but
stay out of it,” says Sofin. “It’s not for you to decide.” On
the other hand, if a child is putting himself or someone

else in danger, it’s important to tell him to stop without

getting emotional and to let his parents know. “Nobody

wants to feel like the worst parent ever,” says Sofin. “If

you just keep very calm and factual, nobody will freak

out. The parents will just say ‘Hey, thank you.’” In the

absence of a kids’ table, request to sit with another rela-

tive you’d like to catch up with ahead of time instead of

spending an entire meal next to a troublesome tot.

THE PLAYER

THE NOSY NELLIE

THE CHALLENGE

Family members often know way more about us than

what feels comfortable, and you may have one relative in

particular who is more prying than others. When some-

one is gossiping or asking too many personal questions,

keep in mind that she is likely genuinely interested in you

and your life. “She is trying to fit in and find a way to con-

nect with you,” says Sofin.

THE GAME PLAN

“If you know that the person is nosy and don’t want to

share a whole lot about your life, try to be as vague as pos-

sible,” says Whitmore. “Make a joke or turn the question

around with another question, depending on what she

asks.” To change the subject, Whitmore recommends pre-

paring three topics of conversation that usually go over

well during the holidays: your favourite family memory,

travel and food. “Everybody can relate to food and travel,

but if you really want to stimulate a lively discussion, go

around the table and share your fondest or funniest fam-

ily memory,” she says.

THE PLAYER

THE POLITICAL NUT

THE CHALLENGE

As political beliefs become more polarized, chances are,

there will be someone at your next family event who is at

the opposite end of the spectrum. While it may seem like

a challenging divide, look at it as an opportunity instead.

“You don’t have to agree on everything,” says Whitmore.

“In fact, I think it’s healthy to have opposing views. If

ever yone ag reed, it wouldn’t be a stimulating discussion.”

“FAMILY MEMBERS TEND TO BE

MUCH MORE OPINIONATED WITH ONE ANOTHER

THAN THEY WOULD BE WITH STRANGERS.”

26 DECEMBER | JANUARY 2018 best health besthealthmag.ca