THE
THE GAME PLAN
Before getting into a discussion, remember that your
family doesn’t need to share all of your beliefs and their
opinions don’t say anything negative about you. “The idea
is that your family should ref lect who you are, so we take
it personally if somebody has a different political view,”
says Sofin. “But at the end of the day, we only have power
and control over ourselves.” Depending on how heated the
conversation becomes, try changing the subject, tuning
out your relative or heading to another room, with or
without that person. “Sometimes, with this person, you
might have to say, ‘You know, we’re just going to have to
agree to disagree on that issue,’” says Whitmore.THE PLAYERTHE OVERDRINKER
THE CHALLENGE
At best, someone who overdoes it on the Pinot might
cause embarrassment; at worst, she could be a threat to
herself and others. If you’re hosting the dinner, rememberthat you’re responsible for your guests. “If you see that
somebody is getting out of control, pull her aside pri-
vately,” says Whitmore. Keep in mind that there’s usually
a motive for overindulging, and it could very well be the
same social anxiety that you’re feeling. “There’s a reason
why alcohol is a multi-trillion-dollar industry,” says
Sofin. “It’s a depressant. It calms people down and makes
them less anxious and less stressed.”THE GAME PLAN
As the host, you can minimize damage by no longer serv-
ing your unruly guest and keeping plenty of water, non-
alcoholic beverages and food readily available. Also, ask
yourself why someone might be drinking. “Is she worried
because her ex is here?” asks Sofin. “Did she just find out
that she owes hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes?”
Engaging with your overindulging guest in a non-con-
frontational way may bring her troubles to the surface,
which can have a calming effect. But keep in mind that it’s
not your job to play family psychologist or party police
officer. Simply offering to call a cab or let your guest
spend the night will suffice. bh