unanswerable authority on some point ... By further reflecting that the clearest evidence
would be requisite to make a sane man believe in the miracles by which Christianity is
supported, - that the more we know of the fixed laws of nature the more incredible do
miracles become ... I gradually came to disbelieve in Christianity as a divine revelation ...
I was very unwilling to give up my belief ... But I found it more and more difficult, with
free scope given to my imagination, to invent evidence which would suffice to convince me.
Thus disbelief crept over me at a very slow rate, but was at last complete.His secret burned within him. This was an important contribution to scientific
knowledge, something which he had dreamed of making even before embarking on
the Beagle. What if he were to die and his idea were to die with him? In July 1844 he
carefully wrote a 230 page ‘Essay’ of his ideas on the transmutation of species which
concluded with this beautifully crafted paragraph:
From death, famine, rapine, and the concealed war of nature we can see that the highest good,
which we can conceive, the creation of the higher animals has directly come. Doubtless
it at first transcends our humble powers, to conceive laws capable of creating individual
organisms, each characterized by the most exquisite workmanship and widely-extended
adaptations. It accords better with the lowness of our faculties to suppose each must require
the fiat of a creator, but in the same proportion the existence of such laws should exalt our
notion of the power of the omniscient Creator. There is a simple grandeur in the view of
life with its powers of growth, assimilation and reproduction, being originally breathed
into matter under one or a few forms, and that whilst this our planet has gone circling on
according to fixed laws, and land and water, in a cycle of change, have gone on replacing
each other, that from so simple an origin, through the process of gradual selection of
infinitesimal changes, endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been evolved.Charles Darwin then sealed his ‘Essay’ in an envelope and addressed it to his wife
as ‘Only to be opened in the Event of my Death’. Darwin could now lean back in
the chair in his study and relax, as his bid for immortality lay secure in the envelope.
The quiet country life loved by him and his family could continue and his reputation
as a respected scientist would remain intact. The envelope also contained a long
accompanying letter which began with this request:
My Dear Emma,I have just finished my sketch of my species theory. If, as I believe that
my theory is true and if it be accepted by even one competent judge, it will be a considerable
step in science.Charles Darwin – At Down House 121