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Who l 43KateLordsharesthe
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TheStrongManbyGrant
Edwards(Simon&Schuster
Australia,RRP$35)isoutnow.STRONG
ENOUGH
AwardedAustralia’sstrongest
man,Edwardspulleda 201-
tonnetrainandseta worldrecord.
“Iwasa strongguyphysically, I
thoughtI wasa strongguy
mentallyandit wasprobably
thegreatestwake-upinmy
lifewhenI realisedthat
foronceI wasn’t.”Edwards and
his daughters,
Emilee, 22,
and Jacinta, 4,
at the beach
in 2014.Edwards (bottom
right), aged 3, with
his mum, dad and
sister Jenelle.appreciate it when I say being the ‘other
person’ impacted is debilitating. It’s a one-way
ticket to an exhausting and heartbreaking
existence where everything you hold dear
is challenged.
Through no fault of your own, your life
becomes an
emotional roller-
coaster ride where
you’re pushed to the
limit. It’s relentless
and brutal, although
I did find occasional
respite when I briefly
saw the man I’d
married before he
disappeared – again- into the depths of
depression and PTSD.
When I’m desperate
for information I’ll
google my queries - after all, the internet
has the answers to everything, right? I tried
what seemed a million ways to ask how the
partner of someone with PTSD could help
their own situation. While I was bombarded
with pages of information, all of it related to
the patient and not the carer. “Come on,
Google, help me!”
When I realised there was nothing I could
access for practical help I felt despondent.
What made my particular situation harder was
I couldn’t talk to anyone – outside of the strict
confidence of my mother and best friend Cathy - given that Grant was terrified his career
would be over if his ‘secret’ was exposed.
It was a tough time. While I realise some
people with PTSD can lash out physically and
verbally, I didn’t have that problem because
Grant and I don’t argue – not even during the
worst of his struggles.
His coldness was so unbearable there were
many times when, as much as I clung to the
countless reasons why I loved Grant, it could’ve
been easy to just walk away. But I didn’t want
that. I did everything possible to fight for ‘us’.
I’d look at Jacinta and think how she deserved
better from her parents. She was the reason
why I dug in for our family. I also clung to
the good days we had – and hoped the time
would come when we had more good days
than bad weeks.
Keeping your identity as the partner of
someone battling PTSD is tough. The first time
I ever heard Grant reveal he’d come close to
committing suicide was when he spoke about it
on ABC’s Australian Story. My anxiety levels
escalated, and I started to again tippy-toe around
because I didn’t want to put Grant under
pressure. I feared saying something that could
cause him to do something dreadful to himself.
After living for years with a partner who
suffers from PTSD, I’ve started having my own
psych sessions through Soldier On Australia,
to help me deal with the impact the battle has
had on me. And they’re helping.
The PTSD epidemic will continue to be an
issue for as long as the government continues
to commit troops – and now, police – to war
zones. But on the home front, we need to
acknowledge that there are first responders
who’ve had careers in excess of 30 years, and
they’ve seen terrible sights in their roles as
paramedics, firefighters, police, prison officers
and SES workers. As a society, we can’t believe
these people really turn up to work unaffected
by the sights and sounds
that cause them to have
horrific nightmares.
If you or someone you know
needs support, help is
available from Lifeline on
13 11 14.