Reader’s Digest Australia & New Zealand – May 2019

May• 2019 | 13

A fewdayslateratmyantenatal
check-up,myGPwasn’tatallworried
aboutmydifficultnight.Twoweeks
laterI sawhimagainandhesaidI
couldgoonforanothertwoweeks.
However,I presentedatthehospital
intheearlystagesoflaboura couple
ofdayslater,butwaspromptlysent
homeasa dramaticfirst-timemum.
WhenI returnedthefollowing
morning,thenurselistenedfora
heartbeat,buttherewasn’tone.She
seemedangryatmefornothaving
noticedthisandtoldusthatthebaby
hadpassedaway.Wewereshocked,
devastatedandconfused.Howcould
thishappen?
MyusualGPdidn’tattendthat
terribleday.Wewerenotpermitted
toseethebaby.AfterthebirthI
haemorrhagedandtheattending
doctorcomplainedaboutme“getting
everythingwrong”.It allfeltlikea
nightmare.Throughourtears,Henry
andI comfortedeachother,vowing
thatwewouldnotgiveuponour
dreamofa family.
Empty-handed,wereturnedto
ouremptynewhomewithitsempty
nursery.I hadspenttwodaysin
hospital,wascompletelyshattered
andina stateofdisbelief.It seems
unfathomablenow,butfollowing
thedelivery,Danielwastakenfrom
us,keptbrieflyatthehospital,then
transferredtotheRoyalWomen’s
Hospitalforanautopsyandburial,
aswasthepracticeatthetime.
Without so much as a glimpse

ofDaniel,andnofuneralorburial

place,wehadnofocalpointwhereby

tomournhim.Atthetimeneither

birthnordeathcertificateswere

issuedforstillbornbabies.AllI had

asproofthatDanielhadexisted

wasthetaupedressinggownI had

boughtforthehospital,thenurse’s

referralandthehospitalreceipts.

Atthesix-weekfollow-upvisitwith

myGP,HenryandI wereinformed

thattherehadbeennothing

medicallywrongwithDaniel.The

doctoraskedif perhapsI’deaten

seafoodpriortothebirth– thiswas

theonlyexplanationoffered.There

wasnoapolog yfornotattendingthe

birthorcheckinguponmeduring

myhospitalstay.Therewasno

sympathyandnoreassurances.

A yearlater,withmuchtrepidation

andelationwewelcomedEmmainto

ourlives.Shefilledourheartsand

homewithallthedelighta healthy

newbabybrings.Thiswasboth

wonderfulandbittersweet.

I joineda groupforparentsof

stillbornbabiescalledSANDSwhere

I foundsomesolace.Lifewasfull

andbusy.Overthenext 12 years,

ourfamilygrewtoincludeRobert,

RebeccaandElise– thoughDaniel

wasstilldeepinourhearts.With

the help of SANDS, we lobbied the

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