IT WOULDN’T MAKE much sense to require
employees at Best Buy to understand the
inner workings of vacuum tubes. Or to
mandate that Apple Store staffers be flu-
ent in the ancient language of telephone
switchboards. Yet Florida says “hearing
aid specialists” must pass multiple tests
and be certified to conduct a full audiologi-
cal exam, essentially quizzing them on
skills and tech dating back to the 1950s.
Those requirements are completelyWHEN SEATTLE OUTLAWED single-use plas-
tic straws in September 2017, the decision
drew snickers from spectators as the latest,
silliest example of nanny state excess—
and one that could happen only in the
famously progressive city. But by the time
the ban went into effect in July 2018, straw
bans had taken the world by storm.
Vancouver, British Columbia, banned
straws in May. Active efforts are underway
to do the same in San Francisco; Portland,
Oregon; Washington, D.C.; and New York
City. California is mulling a bill that would
prohibit restaurateurs from offering their
patrons unsolicited plastic straws, and
Hawaii considered a bill this year that
would have outlawed both businesses andunnecessary for the proper fitting and test-
ing of modern hearing aids, which are radi-
cally different than the obtrusive, poten-
tially painful devices of your grandparents’
era. Today’s aids are sleek mini-speakers
that nestle inside the ear canal. They can
be configured over a Bluetooth connection
with a computer or smartphone.
And making people take antiquated
classes limits access to hearing assistance
providers and drives up the costs of hear-
ing care, according to one practitioner.
Dan Taylor has been a hearing aid spe-
cialist in Florida for more than 30 years.
Last year, he declined to renew his license
in protest of the onerous licensing rules. In
response, the Sunshine State slapped him
with a cease-and-desist letter, threatening
to force him into an early retirement. In a
federal lawsuit filed in April, Taylor chal-
lenged the legitimacy of Florida’s hearing
aid licensing scheme.
Taylor’s lawsuit notes that he’s not
challenging the idea that hearing aids areindividuals from selling or even giving out
straws free of charge.
In April, British Prime Minister The-
resa May announced plans to ban the little
suckers kingdomwide. The European
Union followed her lead a month later.
And it’s not just governments: McDon-
ald’s and Starbucks are phasing out the
use of straws, while A-list celebs like musi-
cians Calvin Harris and Demi Lovato have
publicly sworn them off.
Why this particular item, and why
now? Eight million metric tons of plastic
makes its way into the ocean every year,
straw haters say. They don’t mention that
the United States is responsible for only
about 1 percent of this waste, and that
straws are a far tinier fraction still. Per-
haps you’ve heard the old saw that Ameri-
cans use 500 million straws a day. But way
back in January, Reason broke the story
that the source of this tidbit was a 2011
phone survey of three straw manufactur-
ers, conducted by a 9-year-old.
The justification for the bans is almost
beside the point, though, as evidenced by
the latest argument: Straws are a “gateway
plastic,” according to the environmentalistmedical devices. He continues to comply
with many layers of federal rules.
But Florida’s laws aren’t merely out of
step with the times. They’re also at odds
with those from the Food and Drug Admin-
istration (FDA). In 2016, that agency abol-
ished a requirement that hearing aid spe-
cialists give comprehensive exams before
fitting patients with devices. The FDA
now says only that patients must have a
prescription from a medical doctor before
seeking out a specialist for a fitting.
“The federal government has studied
and determined that the type of hearing
aids Dan sells pose no meaningful health
or safety risks,” says Larry Salzman, an
attorney with the Pacific Legal Founda-
tion, which is representing Taylor.
The FDA is now actively urging states
to kill rules like the one in Florida, which
it says are “a barrier to access with no sub-
stantial enhancement of patient safety.”ERIC BOEHM is a reporter at Reason.group Lonely Whale, and prohibiting their
distribution will cause people to reconsider
whether they need the other plastic items
in their lives.
Trying to keep track of the shifting
goal posts is almost enough to distract
you from the damage caused by these
bans. Seattle business owners report mas-
sive cost increases from switching to less
durable compostable straws. Some people
with disabilities, who lack the ability to
bring cup to lip, warn that without straws,
they’ll be unable to enjoy drinks out on the
town with their able-bodied peers. Then
there are all the priceless luxuries plastic
straw bans will require us to forego, from
saving our teeth a little wear and tear to
sucking down a cold milkshake on a hot
summer’s day.
For most people, these aren’t life-
altering benefits. But absent a very good
reason for taking our straws away, policy
makers should let people suck in peace.CHRISTIAN BRITSCHGI is an assistant editor at
Reason.12 OCTOBER 2018POLICY
FLORIDA
LAWMAKERS DEAF
TO THE NEEDS
OF HEARING AID
USERS
ERIC BOEHM
REGULATION
STRAW BAN
STRAW MAN
CHRISTIAN BRITSCHGI
Illustration, top: KeithBishop/iStock. Illustration, bottom: smartboy10/iStock