Australian T3 - May 2018

(C. Jardin) #1

You’re over-hammering the


processorbyplayinggames


with no reward other than


quieting voices in your head


NOW PLAYING


A


Awhileback,beforethe
lawyers sent him letters,
Guru used to do a bit every
issue where he said rude things
about Kickstarter projects. It is not
entirely clear whether any of those
wacky products came to fruition,
butitdoeshighlightKickstarter’s
key feature: it allows motivated
creators to throw whatever they like
atthewallandseewhatsticks.
There are Kickstarter projects
that are paid but never ship, and
someofthosethatdoarebesetby
infuriating delays or compromises.
Never pump money into Kickstarter
thinking you’re guaranteed to get
what you paid for, because normal
consumer protection rules simply
don’t apply. Caveat kickstartor.

What colour are


your lights?
he battery on

my mobile is


draining fast!


Howsafeis


Kickstarter?


A


White. They are white.
Bluey-white when Guru is
concentrating on answering
odd questions like this one,
yellowy-white when GaGu is eating
oneofhisthreedailylunches,and
orangey-white when the Guru clan
aresettlingdownforthelatest
episode ofNeedlessly Grumpy
Detective Solves the Crimes.
Sure,GaGufiddledaboutwith
colourswhenhefirstgothisHue
kit.Theloungelookedlikethe
insideofa’50sjukebox.But
beyondonebulbinGuru’scinema
room which goes red for a bit of
pre-showing atmosphere, RGB
hasn’t stuck around. Maybe Hue’s
new atmospheric tie-ins will bring
the colour back into his life.

A


Come on, you can’t keep
taking Guru up this road.
Really. You’re not stupid.
You know each one of the answers.
The battery is old. The screen’s too
bright.TheWi-Fi’sconstantly
seeking a network it can’t find.
You’re over-hammering the
processor by playing pointless
games with no reward other than
quietingthevoicesinyourhead,
which is possibly a valuable reward
onitsown,Gurumustadmit.Also,
maybe there’s something using
data in the background, that sort of
thing. Phone batteries are getting
bigger, but no giant change is
comingsoon,sogrababattery
case or pack and just keep juicing
’til you can’t no more.

STEVEN W,
BALLARAT

ABOVE
Well, it’ll drain
too quickly for
sure this way...

DAVE S,
ALBURY

Don’t miss another
instalment of the
legendary Gadget Guru!

NEXT ISSUE


ON SALE


3 SEP


LES M,
STRATHFIELD

I, TONYA
Aviciousblackcomedytelling
thestoryoficefigureskater
Tonya Harding that’s billed
as “totally true”. his tell-all
mixes(fake)voxpopswith
more conventional scenes.

HELLBLADE:
SENUA’S SACRIFICE
he BAFTA-winning and darkly
decadentHellbladehas just
been released on Xbox. Join a
quest to the underworld and
soak up the gruesome sights.

CHUCHEL
hisPCadventureputsyouin
chargeofafuzzyfurballonhis
journeytofindacherry.Playful
andunapologeticallysurreal,it
feelslikeit’sbeenpluckedfrom
the head of Terry Gilliam.

NEW MEDIA


20 T3WINTER 2018 Discover more at techradar.com/au


Horizon


Guru finds the finest


media you need on
your various screens
Free download pdf