The Sunday Times Magazine - UK (2022-06-05)

rising up to the breathtaking
lake views above Bellagio. The
climate control system kept me
comfortable even though the
weather outside swung wildly
between dramatic storms that
lit up the lake with lightning
bolts, and bright sunshine that
turned the water the same
azure blue as the car.
George Clooney, reputedly
an admirer of classic Italian cars,
wasn’t at his lakeside summer
house, otherwise I might have
swung by to ask his opinion.
I suspect he would have been
polite but unexcited. The
Tonale is everything you might
expect from an upmarket SUV,
but nothing to set your heart
racing. There’s a 10.25in
infotainment screen that’s
pin-sharp and a sat nav that
kept me from getting lost in the
backstreets in Como. Along
with other bits of the dashboard,
it’s borrowed from the Fiat 500,
also part of the Stellantis stable.
Indeed, the whole car is built on
a chassis used by Fiat and Jeep,
in keeping with the component
sharing that underlies modern
car production. Overall, it’s well
thought out and tech fans will
like the fact that it responds to
voice instructions using Alexa,
and that everything is
touchtastic except for a sensible
strip of piano key-style switches
for climate control.
The boot is big enough for
the supermarket shopping
and the rear bench seat is big
enough for ... hang on. This is
an Alfa Romeo, dammit. Does
anyone care how big the boot
is? Halfway through my test
drive I wanted the car to
overheat and conk out so I’d be
forced to pull up at an Italian
bar, whereupon I’d spend the
afternoon enjoying an aperitivo
and reminiscing about cars
with the owner until he’d call
a meccanico, who would turn
up and announce he needed a
part from Milan, which would
mean a leisurely three-day
layover and ... you get the point.
This isn’t just any car. It’s a
descendant of the machine
that won the first ever Formula
One championship in 1950,
and the second in 1951 with the
legendary Juan Manuel Fangio
at the wheel. In those days the
company was run by men in
sheds who flew and drove by
the seat of their pants, a mark

competent SUV in an already

crowded market where it’s up

against the BMW X1, Mercedes

GLA, Volvo XC40 and Audi Q3?

To be fair, the company has

been forced into a corner. It’s

been steadily losing money,

selling cars in mere tens of

thousands. Production declined

over two decades from 200,000

to less than a quarter of that.

Now, the accountants at

Stellantis have told it to put on

a suit and get a proper job. They

don’t measure flair, they count

units and the Tonale — Alfa

Romeo’s first all-new model for

five years — will undoubtedly

shift a few. The company has

done its best to make the car

look stylish with some nice

touches, such as a nifty rear

light bar, red brake calipers and

aluminium pedals and shift

paddles. It has also judged the

engine correctly for the times

we are in, harnessing battery

power to boost performance

and give better fuel economy

while stopping short of going

fully electric. The best feature

to my mind is a small Italian flag

on the centre console to remind

you that you are driving an Alfa,

albeit not one that admirers will

crowd around outside the pub,

as they once did, and ask who

the lucky owner is.

In alarming news for fans,

Alfa Romeo has said that by

2027 all its cars will be battery

powered, a shift that its French

managing director insists, with

a Gallic shrug, is inevitable.

Maybe so, but what would

Fangio say? He’ll be twisting

in his grave like cavatappi.

At the end of the test drive,

flying into a rainy Heathrow,

I suddenly wished I could have

brought the blue Alfa home

with me. It would have at least

been sunnier than the grey SUVs

lined up in the long-stay car

park, and made the drive home

in nose-to-tail traffic more

cheery. But then I realised that

what I really wanted to bring

home was Lake Como n

Engine

1469cc, 4 cylinders, VGT,

petrol plus electric motor

Power

158bhp @ 1500rpm

Torque

177 Ib ft @ 3000rpm

Acceleration

0-62mph: 8.8sec

Top speed

130mph

Fuel / CO 2

44.8mpg / 144g/km

Weight

1,600kg

Price

About £36,000

Release date

September 2022

Nick’s rating

The Ruffometer

Alfa Romeo Tonale Hybrid Veloce

1,601mm

4,528mm 1,841mm

of the pioneering spirit and

perseverance of the era. Many

times the company teetered on

the brink of bankruptcy and

was narrowly saved. Alfas were

eye-catching and co-starred in

the best films. Edward Fox hires

a white Giulia in The Day of the

Jackal and plans to assassinate

the French president. Dustin

Hoffman races a 1600 Spider

along the California coast to

reach Katharine Ross before she

ties the knot in The Graduate.

Will anyone rush to buy a

Price

Power

0-62mph

Top speed

Head

to head

Alfa Romeo Tonale

Hybrid Veloce v Kia

Sportage GT-Line

hybrid

£36,000

158bhp

8.8sec

130mph

£33,255

223bhp

7.9sec

120mph

If he had been at home, I suspect

George Clooney’s verdict would

have been polite but unexcited

The Sunday Times Magazine • 51