Reader\'s Digest Australia & New Zealand - June 2018

June• 2018 | 105

READER’S DIGEST

TAXING TIMES

Still strugging to complete your tax forms? Tax oicials

were recently unimpressed with the excuse of someone

who said their ex-wife had left the tax return upstairs and

they couldn’t retrieve it because they sufered from vertigo.

In the same vein, expense claims rejected by oicials

included veterinary fees for a rabbit, birthday drinks at a

nightclub and 250 days’ worth of sausages and chips.

REUTERS

I console myself with the knowl-

edgethat,thoughmyfatherisn’t

around any more, my father-in-law

is,andhe’sthekindofchapwho

lurksinFerrariforums.He’llstepin

wheremyknowledgefailsme.And,

justbecauseHarveyispassionate

aboutcars,thatdoesn’tmeanhe

won’talsogrowtoenjoytheatre,or

theme parks or country walks – all

ofwhichIamamplyqualiiedtodis-

cuss with him.

Buthere’sthething.Iinher-

ited a real Bentley from Dad; a

1920sthree-litre.It’sinstorage.I’d

plannedonedaytosellit,forschool

fees,ormortgagepayments,orper-

hapstoexchangeforacarIcanac-

tuallydrive–youknow,witharoof

and an automatic gearbox. But now

I’mnotsosure.ShouldIkeepitfor

Harvey?DoIreallywanthimatthe

wheelofwhatwillbe,bythen,a

100-year-old car?

Is it too late to get him interested

in computers?

dozenofthemwithhimconstantly,

even when it’s entirely impractical to

doso,eg,whilecrawlingupstairs.

T

here are upsides: matchbox

carsarecheap,sowebuy

him one each time we go to

the supermarket, thus mak-

ing the entire expedition tolerable.

Boring car journeys are dressed up

as a treat (“We’re going in Daddy’s

CAR! It goes brum-brum! We will see

other CARS!”). But we’re getting to the

stage – it’ll arrive at some point later

this year – where my toddler will know

more about cars than I do.

his doesn’t feel right. As a parent,

I’m supposed to be the omniscient

authority on all things, whether that’s

when we’re having dinner, why trees

are green or how Thomas can talk

(he’s magic, obviously). As Daddy, it

falls to me to explain the intricacies of

engines, and show enthusiasm when

a car ad comes on. I cannot perform

this function. I cannot.