52 | June• 2018
CAN WE TALK?
resigned to the fact that sometimes
our companions prefer to use their
devices instead of fully engaging with
us. Today’s instant-gratiication, short-
attention-span lifestyle has trained
people to seek new information at
every moment, so for many people,
face-to-face encounters aren’t as en-
gaging as smart devices with constant
news and updates. And relationships
are sufering.
“Smartphones have become a
safety blanket – whenever there’s a
moment of potential boredom, peo-
pleturntotheirsmartphones,”says
psychology lecturer Daria Kuss,
who studies smartphone usage.
“Since the development of the first
smartphones15yearsorsoago,that
behaviour has been so normalised.
Everyone has them.”A Constant Distraction
Because smartphones can produce
anever-endingstreamofinterest-
ingthingstolookat,theyoftenrival
real-life companions.
“Phones communicate themselves,”
says Oliver Bilke-Hentsch, a psychia-
trist who studies internet addiction.
“You don’t need a phone call from
someone. he device itself shows you
new information. You have to control
yourself just to look.”
Nicole Gommers, 38, has grown
tiredofcompetingwithasmart-
phone for her partner’s attention.
“Itishardtohaveaconversation
with him, because he is constantlyOne by one, everyone gathers
whereweusedtoregaleeachother
withamusinganecdotes,butthere’s
silence instead of laughter as every-
one checks email accounts, text mes-
sages and Facebook feeds.
We might event ua lly pour some
wineandtalk,buteveryonekeeps
a smartphone in his or her lap the
wholenight,andtheconversation
is often interrupted with an alert
thatsomeoneelsewherehassome-
thing (better?) to say. Whenever this
happens, I yearn wistfully for the days
when my relatives and I would focus
all of our attention on each other and
really connect.
My experience isn’t unique. More
than half the people in the world have
smartphones. In countries such as
the US, Britain, Australia, New Zea-
land and Singapore, the igure is more
than 80 per cent. Phones really are
everywhere.
Smartphone usage is so widespread
that people like me – who value
quality conversation – have become
WE’RE RESIGNED TO
COMPANIONS WHO
SOMETIMES PREFER
TOUSE THEIR DEVICES
INSTEAD OF FULLY
ENGAGING WITH US