Reader\'s Digest Australia & New Zealand - June 2018

June• 2018 | 61

READER’S DIGEST

this pressure in conversations with
psychoanalyst Elizabeth Lloyd Mayer,
as reported in her bookExtraordinary
Knowing, published in 2007. “he ev-
idence we had (on clairvoyance) was
rock hard,” he wrote. “I saw that. But
Iwashavingterribletroublegiving
upmybeliefsabouthowtheworld
worked, even in the face of evidence
that said my beliefs were wrong.”
heprejudiceintheWesternworld
is beginning to change, particularly
intheareaofgrieftherapy,ascoun-
sellorstakenoteofothercultural
approaches. One inf luential study
of Japanese widows found that their
continuing bond with the presence
oftheirdeceasedspouses–setting
up altars in the home, leaving food,
incense–madethemmuchmore
psychologically resilient than their
British counterparts.
Neuropsychiatrist Dr Peter Fen-
wick of King’s College, London, has
commentedonthe‘sensedpres-
ence’experience.“Oftenitsemo-
tional impact is so great that it
remains a lasting source of comfort
to the recipient and often has the
powertoaltertheirownperception
of what death means. For them,

whether it’s dismissed by others as

‘si mpl y c oi nc idenc e’ i s i r rele v a nt.

Thefactthatit’shappenedis

enough.”

Butoftenweareheldbackfrom

embracing the comfort and reassur-

anceofspiritsbyasociety that belit-

tles the experience.

ONE AUTUMN,with my sister Anne

and her husband, Mark, we spend the

afternoonshuttingthecottageupfor

winter, which means confounding

thesquirrels,whoappeartohave

spentmostoftheautumnhiding

acorns.Eachtimewestripabed,

acorns tumble out. Anne and I laugh.

AsIshutterthewindows,Iwonder

what will have happened when they

arenextthrownopentosoftspring

light. What will have transpired in

mylife,inours,inthehistoryofthe

world? Who else will have died?

ButthegraceIseenowcomesfrom

thecomfortIdrawfromthistribe,

with my cousins and aunts and un-

clesandfriends.heextendedfamily

hasdrawnevercloser.It’slikeafoot-

printinthesandthatneedstobe

illed in. Where the water rushes in,

whereloverushesin.

FROMOPENING HEAVEN’S DOORBY PATRICIA PEARSON, © 2014 BY PATRICIA PEARSON,

PUBLISHED BY RANDOM HOUSE CANADA, RANDOMHOUSE.CA

SLEEP TIGHT

The cubicle did not get its name from its shape, but from the

Latincubiculum, meaning bed chamber.MENTAL FLOSS