http://www.yourcat.co.uk 43CAT CARE
QQQ
BEREAVEMENT
She was a part of me
Is it OK to give my cat some tinned tuna
mixed in with her food? Tony Gilliver, via email.
BEHAVIOUR
Q
Takai is seven months
old, and we have had
her for a month. She
does not like to be carried
around or held. How can we
change her mind? We have
talked to her about this, but
it’s a no-go!
Henry Stokes, via email.
ANITA ANSWERS:A
I’m sorry to hear
that your kitten
has taken a dislike
to being carried. Not all
cats like to be held, as
that feeling of prolonged
confinement may make
them feel uncomfortable.
Although many of us want
lap cats, who wish to be
stroked constantly or carried
like babies, the reality is that
many cats do not want orenjoy such attention.
I wouldn’t push Takai too
much, but allow her to set
the pace. Over time, you
could try to encourage her
to get used to touching and
quick pick-ups with positive
associations, such as healthy
food treats or a play session
with a favourite toy. Taking
your time is essential.
Allow her to become
comfortable with light
touching, and make any
pick-ups very quick, followed
by the reward.
Ultimately, you may have
to settle for what Takai
is comfortable with, and
respect her boundaries with
unconditional love and no
expectations in return.
Good luck. —Q
I know in time the pain
will lessen, but it has
been a month since
my cat died, and I feel that
I lost part of myself with her.
She was diabetic for the last
six months, and having to
periodically monitor and give
insulin on a strict schedule
created a unique bond. She
is the only pet I ever had that
comforted my emotions and
knew how to read them, and
came to rescue me with neck
massages and face rubs.
I miss that and her so terribly.
Kari Fair, via email.
SUE ANSWERS:A
I am so very sorry to
learn of your struggle
with grief. We know
from research and experience
that when you care for
a cat with a chronic medical
condition, such as diabetes,
this can generate an even
closer, more intense bond
and also a greater sense of
personal responsibility.
When we experience
a bereavement, we grieve
for the primary loss of
that unique, irreplaceable
individual, and for the
secondary losses
associated with the death,
such as the qualities
that relationship gave us
and the function of that
relationship in our lives.
You say you understand
that time will help, but
I sense that right now
your feelings of grief may
feel all-consuming and
overwhelming. This isa normal reaction in grief.
One month is no time at all
and we cannot put a time
limit on grief. Grief is a dual
process of active grieving and
recovery-orientated behaviour
(times when we get on with
other aspects of our lives
without feeling consumed and
overwhelmed by our grief).
Both active grieving and
recovery-orientated behaviour
are necessary to work through
the process of grieving.
It is not uncommon when
we love someone, be it our
cat or a person, that we feel
we have become absorbed
into them and feel a sense of
enmeshment, as though we
are one. You are a separate
person to your cat, and in
your living and remembering
she lives on. Making a memory
book could potentially be
helpful within your continuing
bond in enabling this sense of
separation, and in celebrating
her life.
From everything that you
say, I get a strong sense of the
love you and your cat shared.
Thank you for feeling able to
share your loss experience. —We can’t
hold her!
,
dLIBBY ANSWERS:
A
Unfortunately, tinned fish like tuna
can contain high levels of mercury,
which can be toxic for our feline
friends if fed in large amounts. Therefore,tuna should never be fed as a staple protein
or in large portions. I would not recommend
feeding even small amounts of tuna on
a daily basis. Instead, keep your kitty safe
and save tuna for special treats only. —NUTRITION
We can also often miss the physical
benefi ts of owning a cat.Some cats just
don’t enjoy
being carried.Tuna should be
fed sparingly.Top tip!
Using positive
rewards such as
treats can encourage
your cat to enjoy
being held.40-45 YC Cat Care CS(am)SW.indd 43 28/09/2017 10:36