connecting at a more humane level. The issue
was dealt with effectively with minimum fuss and
no burnt bridges.
Come from a space of curiosity instead of
judgement
Being genuinely willing to park aside your
thoughts while listening to differing views of
the other, helps a lot in diffusing the situation.
Realise that holding two opposing thoughts is
a possibility! You don’t have to agree with the
other’s opinion or convince him/her about yours;
both differing opinions can co-exist. But first,
one has to listen from a space of curiosity. Says
Nisha, “I was trembling at the idea of entering my
relative’s house and bringing up the topic, fearing
a slew of hateful and angry speeches. Then I
decided that I would go with an open mind and
empathy in my heart. This energy itself diffused
the situation to a great extent. I heard him out
with patience, agreed to see his perspective, and
openly shared the feelings of the rest of the family
members with him. It was done with an element
of curiosity, wanting to know his defences, instead
of fixing blame and making him appear bad.”Do not blame
It’s a universal fact that nobody likes being
accused or held responsible for something gone
wrong. Therefore, while expressing your own
angst, avoid framing sentences like, “You did not
care to inform me about it.” Instead, you can say,
“I would have felt happy if I had been informed.”Paraphrase
It means offering back to the person what you
have understood in your own words. It has a
few significant advantages in any conversation
and more so, in a difficult conversation. Firstly, it
lets the other person know that you’re listening;
really listening. Secondly, it gives an opportunity
to the other person to confirm or clarify yourRelationships^79