understanding of what he/she has really
said. Says Nisha, “I paraphrased my relative’s
responses by saying, ‘I understand that you
feel misunderstood and that you had all the
intention of returning the money. It’s just that
you were going through a rough patch in life.’”
Respect feelings
Confronting charged emotions is an inherent
part of difficult conversations. It is important
to acknowledge your own feelings as well as
those of the other during such conversations.
Gautam Bhushan, a talent management,
learning and organisation development expert,
shares a story of a difficult conversation he
once had and the learning he derived from it.
In the course of his career, in one
organisation, the company was forced to lay
off a few people. And the responsibility for
breaking this news fell on Gautam’s shoulders.
One such conversation seemed particularly
daunting, as the lady who needed to be given
the bad news, was known to be vociferous.
However, something that transpired in the
conversation, simplified it. After breaking the
news, Gautam allowed a full two minutes of
silence. During this time, the girl got her space
and Gautam continued to read the expressions
on her face to know what feelings she was
experiencing—disappointment with self,
hurt, and shame. Finally, when she spoke, she
admitted that what she was most concerned
about was the embarrassment she would
have to deal with. Once Gautam understood
the root area of her concern, it was fairly
simple to work with her to find solutions.Being genuinely willing to park aside your
thoughts while listening to differing views of
the other, helps a lot in diffusing the situation
80 LifePositive | FEBRUARY 2018^