Australasian Dirt Bike — January 2018

http://www.adbmag.com.au JANUARY 2018 | 257

BEAUTY BATHURST

REDMOND’S RANT REAR GUARD

GOT A TEXTfrom an old mate

today. How do I even reply?

To mmy retire d a few years b a ck

fromalifetimeofbeingatruck

mechanic. The trendsetters

changed our occupation to

“diesel fitters” around a decade

ago but some of us are still

truck mechanics

(#blackhandsmatter) ...

Back to Tommy. We keep in

touch and he is a good old

stick. What should I reply? I

wanttosaystufflike,loadthat

gear up and get your arse down

here mate. We need men,

proper men.

Water-pump changing, head

gasket doing, bracket welding

men.Smashoutavalveand

injectoradjustment,haveapie

for smoko then spin them

spanners until the afternoon

turnsdarkwhilewesetthe

fleet for the next shift.

But unfortunately mother

natureisaprick.Arotten

time-keeping,bitteroldprick.

Theoldlionsgettired.

Retirement somehow drains

thehunter.Tommywouldnot

recognise how we do it these

days.Laptops,smartarse

emails,electronicpartsbaskets

andsilentsmokofiddlingwith

Apple/Tinder wankboxes.

I’m also not so one-

dimensionaltohavealready

forgottenwhenIwasthelion

roaringattheoldschoolbut

time slips away and leaves you

with nothing but boring stories

of your glory days. What advice

can I give Tommy? How about I

tell him to throw his tools in the

Ross River and be thankful

Gen-Y never got their dick

grippers near his stuff?

Hepaidoffacouplahouses,

afleetofcarsandahousefull

of daughters by spinning those

WHO IS REDMOND? HE’S A BEER DRINKING, DIRTBIKING, UTE DRIVING ALL-ROUND GOOD AUSSIE BLOKE WHO LOVES ADB.

HE’S MADE US LAUGH FOR YEARS SO WE THOUGHT WE’D SHARE THE LAUGHS HE GIVES US WITH YOU, EVERY MONTH!

BATHURST WAS A blast. Street Machine magazine never got my

credentials done in time so I just went as a punter. Stayed at Mum’s

(40km from Bathurst), ate apple pie and stayed in my old bedroom.

The fi replace chimney goes through my room. Mum cooked me so

much food. My mates from Townsville stayed in the paddock at

Bathurst and got poured on and froze.

EVERYBODY

LOVES

REDMOND

spanners.Iftheworldwasa

betterplace,Iwouldbuyanold

351 Clevo engine and take it

around to Tommy. We could do

abuildonitanddrinkplenty

of whisky.

Iamsurethisdonkwouldbe

built without once ever joining

a forum, using Facebook or

even the internet. However, I

am sure Tommy would be

captainofthetorquewrench

andplastygaugewhileI

mannedtheJ.D.delivery

system (play to your strength)

TommyisaFordman.

Aroundtheturnofthe

century I straightened up and

decided to fl y right. This is

when I met Tommy. In the

remote Outback digging for

ore. Many nightshifts we would

yarn about F100s. He had

passion for the old trucks. I

devoured every word because

he was old school and also a bit

lost like me in a workshop full

of TOE-JO men.

I have never stood accused

of being short of a word but

heavens to Dickens I can not

fi nd the correct words to reply

to Tommy. Not only is it a

question about his tools of

trade but it is also a question

about how you treat mates.

WHAT TO TELL TOMMY?

I want to say

stuff like,

load that

gear up and

get your arse

down here.

We need men,

proper men